Author Archive

ARIES (MAR 22 – APR 19)
Wow Aries, you are full of bull. How long do you expect to keep pulling the wool over some people’s eyes? That long huh? Well, be aware that your antics are starting to wear thin. Gee, you could even possibly be exposed this month. Yes, possibly even in a George Michael kinda way. And while you’re all out getting caught out, expect to get caught up in a conflict of time, probably between friends and lover(s). Yes, the plot is thickening… just like you if you think you can get away with it for much longer. Tut tut… shame on ewe. (more…)

ARIES (MAR 21 – APR 19)
Bzzzt, zhirrr, whiz, grrr… hear that? It’s the sound of the universe going slightly out of whack. Yes, the stars are all over the place this October, which means that all sorts of mischief is taking place in the heavens up above. But this has little impact on you, Aries, as personal relationships become even more personal and the fruits of your labour are… well, fruited. Sounds fruity? Oh it is, darling, it is: and all done in the most fabulous taste. Whoa… that was almost like a real horoscope. Almost. (more…)

ARIES (MAR 21 – APR 19)

There’s something brewing Aries, and it isn’t ram stew. Or is it? Well, let’s put it this way – if you don’t pay attention to your partner’s needs this month, you will be in a stew. And I’m not talking the aromatic, slow-cooking kinda stew either, although there will be a wafting smell coming from your projects as they simmer on the backburner. Around the 8th and 14th you can expect excitement and news in regards to work. Importance and recognition are a dish best served hot… and with a sprig of rosemary… and a dash of thyme. (more…)

ARIES (MAR 21 – APR 19)

When last we left off you were in the midst of a delusional psychosis, one which saw you thinking you were a can of flat lemonade. A can of flat Diet Coke if you were lucky. Has anything changed? Well dear readers, it appears that, yes…things are on the up for all you Rams out of there. Friends, love, children…they all feature big this August. Even with the prospect of love you manage to get a whole heap of work done. Watch out for fireworks on the 19th. All that explodes isn’t necessarily good. Til’ next time. (more…)

ARIES (MAR 21 – APR 19)

You’re flat lemonade this month, Aries. Flat diet coke if you’re lucky. Whatever your flavour – and kilojoule intake – one thing is certain: you’ve lost your fizz this July. How to get the bubbles back so that you’re more effervescent? Hmmmm… short of sucking on a carbonating canister? Stick it out. Yes, it’s that simple. Everything about you this month says ‘slow down, little Ram, slow down’. And you should! Because if you don’t reality will slow you down instead, and the last thing any of us want is reality messing with us. Damn reality. Why live in the real world when you can be a flat can of lemonade, hey Aries? (more…)

ARIES (MAR 21 – APR 19)

June is not the month to idly get caught with your hand on your balls… unless you’re juggling them! Even then, you may have too many balls in motion, dear Ram. Yes, it seems there is such a thing as too many balls. The heat’s turned up this month so be aware of some hot fun, some hotter play and the hottest romance. But only if you’re willing to chase that bouncing ball… or balls, as the case may be. (more…)