Scene Out

SceneOUT #109

So, darling, you’re not really a star until you’ve appeared on an international stage now are you darling? Simple answer: no. So which little superstar in the making happened to find himself on the stage at Glastonbury, performing alongside some of the biggest names in the hot tranny mess business, including Johnny Woo and Ryan Styles (if you don’t recognise the names crawl back under your rock)? Yes, Ash Baroque did his Glastonbury debut just gone, blitzing away the crowd in a spectacular show. (more…)

SceneOUT #108

Dear Julia Gillard. Women in power- it’s the way it should be. Although I have to admit I don’t like the current bob. It’s a bit serious. A bit hard. You had a real sexy moment with that hair – we need to return to that. Until such time I’m sorry but you’re like a serious lesbian who isn’t having fun. And no-one wants to look like that. Big love and scissors, mOther.

WHAT… is with Grindr!? Girlfriend, I’ve been shown some of the profile pictures you boys put up and they are NASTY! Mmmhmm. One guy looked like Justin Bieber and another had some freakish feature wall in the background painted red with a curtain in front of it. I mean – SERIOUSLY!? Who has that in their house!? Oh… and if people can see your toilet in the background, THAT AIN’T SEXY! So… mOther wants you to send the nastiest Grindr photographs you see to her mother@outinperth.com. Go on… you know you’ve seen them. (more…)

SceneOUT #107

It seems that soul sucking is the new black. Forget plastic surgery. Forget cosmetic procedures. Forget stomach stapling, lap band surgery, chin implants or even a dash of Botox in your nightly dinner: if you really want to make yourself loved and endeared, then suck on some souls. Everybody who’s anybody is doing it. Slurp slurp.

OMG! Gay and lesbian Zumba classes?! True that. Be at Karrinyup Hall tonight from 6.30pm to get your groove thing on. (more…)

SceneOUT #106

Here at OUTinPerth we have small feminine hands. We pride ourselves on the delicate curl of our tiny pinkies, the petite protrusion of our knuckles, the slightness of our phalanges. Know that this entire paper is crafted by a team specifically chosen because of their small feminine hands. Now, watch closely – very closely – as we hold them aloft and try to muster spirit fingers… or rather oscillate our claws wildly. (more…)

SceneOUT #105

Rumour has it The Drag Wars are over. With casualties lying in the thousands (of bitchy text messages), it seems that Perth’s two reigning larger than life queens have ended their respective reigns of terror and have called a truce across the desolate wasteland of the dressing room. Val Nourished and Feminem ‘Stacy’s Mom’ The Future have called an end to their bitch-fest and are now performing together (albeit not at Connections… clearly… hell hasn’t frozen over yet folks). The reason for this sullen truce? Is it possibly because Feminem has aged another year and plain forgotten, as old ladies do? Nope. Simple truth? There’s apparently no other talent worth working with. Apparently. (more…)

SceneOUT #104

Miss Swish Eveready is in town… and that usually means a good spate of gossip is to be had. Usually. Appears the girl is behaving… which I doubt very much. What this suggests to me is that she’s flying under the radar. What I do know, however, is that she’s sporting a nice bit of pink eye according to some images mOther saw on Facebook. So if you have some salacious gossip about Swish… or any drag queen for that matter… drop me a line at mother@outinperth.com – best gossip will win accolades and possibly prizes. Possibly. (more…)

SceneOUT #103

Ugh! Drag Wars?! In galaxy far, far away there was an intergalactic space Princess and a… wait, I can see this going very, very badly. It seems the latest drag feud on the scene is so great that it’s spilt over into the mainstream. The face-off that is Val vs. Fem The Future reached fever pitch at New Years when it’s alleged one stole a spot show from the other, resulting in an ‘expulsion’ from Connections. All that over a fake heart? Yes, darling. Step on toes and you’ll have your career ripped from your chest, at least from one half of town anyway. And yes, we got official word from the crew at Connections about the situation. We also got an official yawn. But we don’t care anyway – we won a Glammy too. (more…)

SceneOUT #102

Which drag darling has gone and got herself a new face? Not like in Face/Off with John Travolta or Nicholas Cage. No, seems this belle went all international jetsetter to get a little love done. And the results? Twenty years younger…!

Summer Cielo happens for the final time this summer. It’s a huge dance party taking place at Next Generation in Kings Park (a very fine gym… mOther knows best… because she just joined!) from 6pm until midnight and then jumps venue to continue on at Connections from midnight until 5am. Summer Cielo at Next Generation incorporates a pool, dance floor and promises to be hot. But making it even hotter will be the appearance of Midnight Shift resident DJ Juan Valesco. With support from DJ Seb Sharp, things are set to be wet and wild and a little bit kinky in the pool and on the dance floor. Once the party moves across town to Connections, the hottest hotspot in town will unveil its new shower podium. Yes, get even wetter than wet when the club soothes your summer burn in the wildest way possible. But that’s not all. To add to the palatable sex appeal of the night there will be a guest appearance from worldofmen.com pornstar Collin O’Neal, with a chance for you to win a Collin O’Neal DVD box set featuring some of his biggest and best bits. All you need to go into the draw is your Summer Cielo ticket. Where to get them? Log on to www.summercielo.com or visit Travelworld Inglewood, 803 Beaufort Street. Tickets are $80 each. (more…)

SceneOUT #101

Looking for some smile-curling comments? Want the hairs on your neck (and legs and hands and upper lip) to stand up with titillation? Want to squeal with excitement like a set of bagpipes screeching across the Scottish moors? Then you’ve come to the wrong place.

It’s Christmas. I hate Christmas. It means I have to hide all the waxing implements around my house from my relatives when they come to visit. I’m a very hairy woman you see. Very hairy. My chin looks as though I’ve been eating out and the rug got stuck. That’s why I like Brazilians. Both down there and on my plate. (more…)

SceneOUT #100

Ah. Pride. Good for many things, but most importantly… gossip!

Which Pride person had to cancel an appointment because they had split their pants? Now, it’s not just any split, it’s the kind of split that means they can’t go into work or hold a fruity after work special. But not one to solve the problem sensibly, our special boy decided that a needle and thread was far too last century and instead decided to glue their split work pants together. Yes darlings: glue! Naturally, it didn’t work (I’d ask if they were on glue, but that seems apparent). The thing which shocks mOther the most is that their pants actually split after Pride. Aren’t your pants meant to slide off your hips due days of malnutrition? Apparently not, which leads mOther to thick that the gained weight could have only occurred from one source. Protein shake anyone?! (more…)