Living Well With HIV

Living Well With HIV - Ahead of time

For many of us, growing older may mean that our bodies will begin to reveal vulnerabilities and normal age related health issues may become evident. Psychologically we also start the gradual adjustment to growing older by beginning to recognise and accept that perhaps we need to drive our body less hard than we once did. For people living with HIV the natural health challenges with growing older can present themselves ahead of time. The Health Department in WA currently reports that almost 40% of gay men with HIV are between 40-49 years of age, with a further 40% over the age of 50. These ages are not very old in the traditional sense, however when over laid with the impact of living with HIV, suddenly many people are confronted with health challenges that they might not have expected until much later in life. This is the first time we have had a significant number of PLHIV who are middle aged and over and services will need to learn to adapt what they do to be able to respond well. (more…)

Living Well With HIV: Acceptance

Elisabeth Kubler Ross describes five common stages that people go through when they are experiencing the process of grief or loss; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. One of the personal challenges for people living with HIV is to overcome the sense of loss derived from no longer being able to play out their sexuality in exactly the same way they did before they were diagnosed. (more…)

Living Well With HIV- the ‘joys’ of Christmas

What does Xmas mean to you? For some, Xmas means an opportunity to enjoy a few days away from our regular work schedules, for others it is steeped in faith based worship and/or family get togethers, and yet for others it may mean a time of stress, isolation and loneliness.

For me, Xmas is a time to reflect on my current and contemporary spiritual beliefs where I can appreciate a loving god to all and one that would support the divine love between same sex attracted individuals. Mostly though, Xmas is a time for me to acknowledge, be grateful, and express love to my partner, friends, and family. Xmas affairs have not always been easy for me or some others, so I offer a few tips which may be helpful. (more…)

Living Well With HIV And Correcting The Stereotype

It’s easy to judge people you have not met, and then easier still to swallow the conventional stereotype of the group they supposedly represent. Like same sex attracted folk, people living with HIV (PLHIV) have been stereotyped in ways that potentially increase their social disadvantage, like ‘Gay men living with HIV are promiscuous’ .

If you take the time to listen to the real experiences of PLHIV you will often hear the story of the one time they didn’t use a condom, the one time they where in a vulnerable space. You will hear how a couple fell in love with each other, assumed that each was negative, and trusted that everything would be OK. So, are there promiscuous PLHIV? Yes, however they are very much a minority and are not representative of most PLHIV. (more…)

Living Well With HIV :: Handling Fear

Living well with HIV – Handling fear

Today, many gay men in Perth have little or no contact with a person living with HIV (PLHIV). For many their only reference points to the HIV epidemic are the ongoing condom reinforcement, safer sex messages and education/prevention campaigns produced by the WA AIDS Council. As a community, we have been very effective in articulating the importance of preventing and avoiding HIV, but we haven’t always been so good at avoiding stigmatising or discriminating against PLHIV. (more…)

Living Well With HIV- Proudly

Some people may be wondering what you could possibly be proud of when you acquire HIV. An assumption made by some people, is that people living with HIV (PLHIV) should feel ongoing guilt and shame. You may have heard things along the lines of, ‘PLHIV must live with the consequences of not taking 100% responsibility for their health 100% of the time’ or ‘HIV is an entirely preventable and is the result of risky behaviour’. If we are not careful, PLHIV can fall into the mind trap of judgement and condemnation from others, as well as ourselves, for not being 100% perfect all the time or for experiencing vulnerable moments with unintended health costs, or perhaps simply for choosing to experience desire, pleasure, and love. (more…)

Living well with HIV - Sharing our Wisdom

Schools, universities, community groups and organisations sometimes invite a person with HIV to provide a personal perspective on living with HIV. Fortunately the WA AIDS Council provides training for individuals with HIV who choose to share their personal story with others. I have found the opportunity to increase the acceptance and respect for HIV and provide accurate prevention education immensely empowering. By telling my story and sharing my wisdom I, like others, have grown personally. It is difficult to measure the impact of a personal story; the feedback is almost always one of gratitude and privilege for having the chance to develop a greater understanding through a real life story. (more…)

Dinner Conversation

Imagine the scene, a dinner party for eight a mixture of old friends and new acquaintances. One of the guests lives with HIV, which is known only to the host.

How do you respond to an ignorant or discriminating remark about HIV made during the dinner conversation? Does your response change depending on whether you are negative or the person living with HIV?

Every situation is different and there are many variables in play to consider. As a person living with HIV I have experienced the beginnings of an adrenalin rush as my body responds to the fight, freeze or flight response to something that may be potentially threatening. I normally breathe through my initial reaction and then, in a more grounded way, begin to process what it is I would like to do. (more…)

Living well with HIV - We like to party!

Within most individuals there is an aspect of us that seeks to desire and be desirable. Perhaps it’s that part of us that likes to be showy and that likes to know that others find us attractive. Maybe what we really seek is acceptance. Going out is not only an opportunity to socialise with friends but to communicate with the wider community. Before HIV treatments came along it took the incredible courage from individuals to engage with their social world even though they may have been experiencing the adverse effects of HIV, like muscle wasting of their body. Their desire to participate to be included and to be accepted was very great. (more…)

Living well with HIV & Delicious Relationships

When we are growing, one of the significant relationships we have is with our parents or with the person/persons who are responsible for taking charge of our needs. So right from the time we are born we are experiencing relationships. Initially being loved and cared for and then with the passage of time growing the capacity to love and care for our self and others. Very quickly some of us develop a notion that some relationships are more important than others and a hierarchy with expectations is formed in our minds. For example, you could have your primary partner relationship as being the most important then children, pets, other family, close friends, colleagues, other semi close friends, neighbours etc. What happens when our lived experience doesn’t match our expectations of relationships? (more…)