Screen

Alice in Wonderland (PG)

Directed by Tim Burton

Lewis Carroll’s books Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass were written in 1865 and 1871, the era in which Burton’s 19 year-old Alice (Mia Masikowska) rebels against the restrictions of Victorian England. Well, she isn’t wearing her corset or stockings and questions who determines what is ‘proper’. When a garden party is thrown in her honour, she is distracted by what appears to be a rabbit and when she is proposed to, she is overcome by the urge to follow the rabbit down a hole rather than agree to be married. (more…)

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (MA)

Directed by Niels Arden Oplev

Stieg Larsson was an investigative journalist when he wrote three books (The Millennium Trilogy) but died of a heart attack before the first book was ever published. His dark and compelling stories have risen to the top of best seller lists around the world – 21 million copies in 40 countries at last count. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Repace), an anti-social computer hacker with a mysterious past which has turned her into a lawless avenger. Larsson actually based Lisbeth on the childhood character Pippi Longstocking by Swedish author Astrid Lindgren. The modern 24 year-old Lisbeth has a photographic memory and is completely at home in the cyber world, but has difficulties with the real world. (more…)

The Men Who Stare at Goats (M)

Directed by Grant Heslov

Usually George Clooney has quite a twinkle in his eye when he is presenting characters for the big screen, but in this film his deadpan seriousness takes over as he becomes Lyn Cassady, a soldier with unparalleled psychic powers who can kill a goat by just staring at it. His character is actually a compilation of a number of real people who were interviewed by journalist Jon Ronson for his non-fiction book The Men Who Stare at Goats. Ronson’s extensive research uncovered information, going back to the 1950s, about the US military financing investigations into methods of combat using psychic powers. While antics of the New Earth Army are scandalously hilarious, it is scary to think that so much of this film is actually true. (more…)

LOL (M)

Directed by Lisa Azuelos

Most teenagers really don’t care about the population of China or cell division. The school curriculum seems so irrelevant when text messaging and on-line chats can provide much more interesting information, especially when teachers and parents think actual study is going on. Of course webcams also provide titillating extra-curriculum as well as lots of laugh-out-loud (even the French use LOL) moments, including an updated version of the ‘American Pie’ incident. Taking place over the space of a year, this French film is a humorous look at relationships from female perspectives over two generations - Paris schoolgirl Lola (Christa Theret) and her mother (Sophie Marceau). Lola falls out of love with boyfriend Arthur (Felix Moati) and into love with his best friend Mael (Jeremy Kapone), while her mother is secretly seeing her divorced husband again before she finds out he is ‘cheating’ on her. (more…)

Cone Of Silence? We Need A Cone Of Politeness!

‘Ello, Espionagers! You know, being a spy isn’t all fun stuff, like jumping out of planes whilst being chased by huge guys with metal teeth, getting shagadelic with a bevy of supermodels, emerging from the ocean in tiny swimsuits or sleeping with an amnesiac Matt Damon (unless you’re Ben Affleck, then it’s always fun). Sometimes you actually have to worry less about the hot Clive Owen look-alike in the seedy bar schtupping you with a radium-poisoned glow in the dark condom, and more about what to get your executive assistant for World Secretary’s Day. And who has time to photograph stolen nuclear warhead blueprints with a micro-camera hidden up your left nostril when you have to take a crash-course in PowerPoint presentations for your next board meeting presentation? And good luck wanting a martini, shaken-but-not-stirred. It’s 9:30am- here’s your latte, and no, it’s dairy milk, not soy- well you’ll just have to *be* lactose intolerant then, won’t you? So put on your largest ankle-length trench coat and dark glasses (whilst wearing them, keep away from porno theatres and playgrounds at all times), swap your handgun-concealed-as-a-stapler for an actual stapler (though it can come fitted with a hole punch as well, if you like) and keep away from the windows (not due to snipers, it’s just that there’s a colony of pigeons nesting above them and we’re all out of Windex) as we surreptitiously make a file on ARCHER (Foxtel FX on Thursdays at 10pm). (more…)

Couch Potato

HOT WEDGES!

SEX REVOLUTION: SAVE IT FOR MARRIAGE (Wed March 3, ABC2-9:30pm)
Neat little 4-part documentary examining changing attitudes towards the Beast With Two Backs throughout Human society- from the repressive attitude of Victorian Europe, to the (rather literal) Swinging Sixties and the concept of ‘Free Love’, to the fight for gay rights, to the oddly unhealthy and sexually-repressed current social climate in North America. Indeed, America’s bizarrely Neo-Victorian attitude to sex is a core part of this program- seems in Hollywood, you can blow a guy away; you just can’t blow a guy! (more…)

Seek This Sanctuary

Hello again, team! Well, good job catching more Abnormals for the centre this week- Will managed to nab a vampire; unfortunately its one of the TWILIGHT type, so we haven’t actually been able to get through the mob of screaming tweenage girls to do any research on him yet; Ashley claims to have caught an Invisible man, but I’m not so sure- the X-rays keep coming out blank and Henry brought us a lobster that was blue instead of red (someone needs to sit Henry down and explain the difference between ‘Abnormal’ and ‘kind of a bit odd’). It’s time to all get out our dissecting kits and have a look at the paranormal programming of our latest unnatural acquisition, SANCTUARY (Thursdays, Foxtel Sci-Fi Channel, 5:30pm). (more…)

A Single Man (M)

Directed by Tom Ford

Colin Firth is used to playing the romantic lead since his Mr Darcy stint in the 1995 hit telefilm of Pride and Prejudice. In this romantic tale he is George Falconer, a 52 year old British college professor, struggling after the death of his long time partner Jim (Matthew Goode). Living in Los Angeles almost 50 years ago, George dwells on the past and cannot shake a deep depression. As we follow him through a single day, we share the personal encounters that ultimately lead him to decide if there can be life after Jim. (more…)

Precious (M)

Directed by Lee Daniels

Claireece ‘Precious’ Jones (brilliantly played by Gabourey Sidibe in her first acting role) lives in 1987 Harlem. Being stared at on the street and bullied at school because of her extreme obesity is nothing compared to the living hell at home. Her home-life is a horror story where she was sexually abused by her father and carrying a second child to him, and physically and emotionally abused by her mother. Precious consoles herself by drifting off into a dream world where she is a fashion model with a handsome boyfriend who loves her for who she is on the inside, but she is terrified that people will find out that she can’t read or write. (more…)

The Hurt Locker (MA)

Directed by Kathryn Bigelow

Homemade bombs kill over half the American soldiers stationed in Iraq as well as thousands of Iraqis, even though the US Army has a special bomb squad that detects and detonates hundreds of these devices. When a remote-controlled bomb detonating robot breaks down, team leader (Guy Pearce) puts on a Kevlar suit to carry out the job manually, but he does not survive the resulting explosion. His replacement, Sergeant William James (Jeremy Renner), has already dismantled 873 bombs and arrives for the last 38 days in Bravo company’s one year rotation in Baghdad. (more…)