HOT WEDGES!
ROBIN HOOD (Sat May 1, ABC2- 7:30pm)
Series three of the successful series about the legendary outlaw hero and his (ahem) merry men in which a whole bunch of pretty male actors flit around Sherwood forest in various states of undress (mostly undressed) so often you’d be forgiven for thinking it was an all-Gay version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Also adding to the homoeroticism and the dubious adherence to legend was last season’s death of Maid Marion, who is replaced tonight with Friar Tuck (David Harewood)- in a further (though welcome) departure from canon, Friar Tuck in this series is African, but things are soon back to the homoerotic status quo when he ties a shirtless and wet Robin (Jonas Armitage) to a tree…
BEYOND CRIMINAL- CANNIBAL SUPERSTAR (Wed May 5, Crime & Investigation Network-7:30pm)
Fascinating forensic documentary about Japanese psychopath Issei Sagawa, who became a bizarre cult icon after he murdered a beautiful Dutch woman in 1981- and then ate her (insert tasteless “Dutch Oven†joke here). After serving some time in a mental asylum, the affluent Sagawa was released and has now become a Japanese celebrity, capitalizing on his infamy with books, talk shows, movies etc. Well, at least he’s not eating whales…
EYE CANDY (Fri May 7, SBS- 10pm)
Profiles American artist David LaChapelle, who despite his drag-queen sounding name, is actually a renowned photographer- he’s like a gay male version of Annie Liebowitz, only instead of saccharine babies in bumblebee outfits, LaChapelle prefers to photograph Justin Timberlake naked. And who can blame him?!
STALE CHIPS
HEY HEY IT’S SATURDAY! (Wed May 19, Nine- 7:30pm)
11 years after Ozzie Ostrich and his evil, talentless hench-people were defeated, bringing an end to almost two decades of laughter-free Saturday evenings, some naive fool has pulled the wooden stake out of Daryl Sommers’ chest and HEY HEY IT’S SATURDAY has once again been freed to terrify, disgust and do everything but entertain a whole new generation of victims. And it’s on Wednesdays now too, just to make the whole concept even more stupid. Isn’t the return of HEY HEY one of the signs of the Apocalypse?!
FLASHFORWARD (Thurs May 20, Seven 9:30pm)
This sci-fi series about people all over the world having a 2 minute long premonition of what would be happening to them and the world in 6 months had the potential to be another LOST; but now it’s just become a confusing mishmash of jumbled plots within plots, characters doing things that don’t make sense and maddeningly enigmatic clues that go nowhere except proving to you that the writers don’t know what’s going to happen either and are making it up as they go. Hey wait, that does sound like LOST!
JUICY JACKETS!
LEVERAGE (Sun May 23, FOX W Network, 5:30pm)
This ‘modern day Robin Hood’ tale switches the robbing-from-the-rich-giving-to-the-poor schtick from the forests of Medieval Britain to the boardrooms and stockrooms of current day Chicago and trades the tights and jerkins for Armani suits and shoulder pads, but the spirit remains the same (plus we don’t have to sit through three hours of Russell Crowe’s excruciating brand of ‘mug, grunt, scowl, win an Oscar’ acting).
SPUDS IN SPACE!
MIRACLE MILE (Wed May 12, Fox Classics- 6:30pm)
Brilliant nuclear holocaust flick from 1988 that still counts as one of my top 10 favourite films. Harry (a young and cute Anthony Edwards) is a tour guide at the Los Angeles Museum of Natural History who has just found his dream girl Julie (Mare Winningham), when he accidentally sleeps in on their third date and she thinks he’s dumped her. He goes to an all-night diner at 4am… and accidentally intercepts a phone call in the booth out front. The call (not meant for Harry) is a chilling message from a soldier in a US Missile base, who informs Harry that the US just launched its entire nuclear payload at Russia, and the Russians have counter launched- the missiles will destroy the entire US in just over an hour. Harry informs the few other patrons at the diner- one of whom is dating an army colonel, and whom has access to a helicopter. Harry then begins a race against time (not to mention World War III bearing down on his personal space) to reach Lisa and then get to the helicopter before the bombs drop in 70 minutes. Unfortunately, thanks to the other diner patrons, word is starting to spread on the slowly-waking city, and soon the roads will be clogged with panic-stricken masses… This is a brilliant, tense, pared-down juggernaut of a movie that relies on intense, quiet paranoia to get its chills rather than expensive FX and an all-star cast. Brilliant film which will remind many people of the constant threat of Nuclear Annihilation people (somehow) lived with in the Eighties. HIGHLIGHT OF THE MONTH- DO NOT MISS!
