Mark Reid WA AIDS Council
As we are frequently reminded in the media, we are all now part of an aging population. With that come some interesting challenges, from both an individual and community perspective. The GLBTI community has tended to focus on the young and beautiful and forgotten about a large part of the community that has become increasingly invisible, namely those of us who have hit the other side of 45.
Aging doesn’t mean that our desire to be sexual diminishes, or that our want and need to be seen as sexual and attractive lessens either.
Seeing ourselves in a positive sexual light doesn’t lessen in our own minds, but itmay diminish in the eyes and thoughts of how others see us. We may still feel as sexual as always, and desire that close connection with another human being.
The issue is connecting with others, and how to do that comes to the forefront. As the clubs and pubs lose their allure, we try to look for alternative ways to connect with others, whilst also trying to safe-guard our self-esteem in an increasingly ageist world.As rejections mount, self-esteem suffers.
A drop in self-esteem can sometimes result in risk-taking behavior. As one friend of mine said, ‘He showed an interest in me sexually and when he said he did not want to use condoms, I was not going to let the chance of sex pass me by and agreed.’
I have heard similar accounts from a number of mature guys who I have dealt with both professionally and personally. Those who are rejected because of their ageare at a real risk ofcontracting a sexually transmissible infection (STI’s) because they may prioritize their need for connection above their safety.
What this highlights to me is that if we embrace our sexuality, and the desire to be desired, we need to embrace also the consequences of this. This means engaging sexually, not putting ourselves at risk and practicing safe sex.
But,slip ups do occur. If that happens, then we need to commit to regular sexual health screening to ensure that we’re STI free so we aren’t putting ourselves or others at risk. If we do contract something, then we need to get treated. Contact the M Clinic for sexual health testing.
Age is relative and we should be proud of who we are and how we see ourselves. Yes we are aging. I know I certainly am! But, that does not mean that we cannot be sexual beings.
