by Immodesty Blaize
Ebury Press
Burlesque has brains. And balls. It’s striptease for the Oxford or Harvard gent, the kind who throws a napkin over his lap, chortling to brush over his embarrassment. Because brains are matched by brawn, the other key ingredient to burlesque: it should always get a rise. Particularly below the belt, if not in the cerebral cortex.
Immodesty Blaize knows this. She’s like Dita Von Teese if Von Teese had glasses and a personality, equipped with an iPad and one of those voice recorder pens you’d find in lecture halls and James Bond Movies. In fact, if Blaize were a Bond girl, she’d be the 20-something version of Q: sassy, opinionated and certain of what she wants from her men. And yes, men… plural.
Of course, this is all fictional thinking, Blaize’s other deadly weapon of mass seduction – she’s a writer, you see. Her genre? The bonk-buster. And if that sounds sordid, that’s because it is.
So what is burlesque?
‘Burlesque is a vintage form of erotica and ironic cabaret,’ Blaize cooed down the phone from Melbourne, in Australia wowing crowds with her one woman show and her incredibly cinched waist. ‘It’s a very long running historical genre with many styles within it. Comedy and satire is a very important part while the striptease element is a pretty recent development.
‘Back when I started there wasn’t an audience for (burlesque) so I had to find it and create it. I feel like I played my own little part in creating the mainstream audience we have today.’
Blaize doesn’t speak on stage. Although she should. Her educated Brit-sophistication lolls in her pronunciation, titillates her vowels. So, in her reticence, she writes. As all voiceless women should – they typically have the most unique thoughts to contribute.
Blaize’s bonk-buster romantic fiction is a work of fantasy that rivals her stage work. If a year and half prep goes into just one stage act, double that must be channelled into her best sellers. After all, they get a rise. And give VIP insight into the world of burlesque and it’s costuming and politics, it being the fastest growing entertainment genre on the planet. Next to Lady Gaga. And rearing lesbians who look like Justin Bieber.
But is Ambition good? Honestly? Who cares. It’s escapism, pure and simple. And if I really wanted to think when I read a book, I’d do a PhD. But for those days when life gets you down and you wish you had a 20 inch corseted waist… Blaize is the babe with the burning Ambition.
‘It’s set in Vegas, so it’s feathers and rhinestones, catfights and scandal and rich playboys and jets and shoulder pads and general bad behaviour. It’s very colourful and there are some very colourful characters in there,’ she purred in conclusion.
Darling… you had me at ‘shoulder pads’. And that waist. Sigh.
Scott-Patrick Mitchell
***
