Aries
And… strut! It’s time to swagger as you get your mojo back. You’re so magnetic that paperclips, loose fillings and car keys will all be finding you out and sticking to you like glue. In fact the energy around you is so hard to ignore that all manner of people will be stopping by to say hi. You’ll be surprised at exactly who will be attracted to you this month. Get ready for some incredibly pleasant surprises. Thank God you have you strut on then – with all those eyes on you, you’re gonna want to be giving them a show.
Taurus
Seems you’re going for a behind the scenes look this month. This means you’ve either got a secret love affair going on or you’re actually involved in some solo creative pursuit. Either way – your bum looks good in behind the scenes action. Get ready to shake that little tush on the catwalk because you’re charisma is running high. Be wary of misunderstandings and gossip though – the two of them can prove quite detrimental this month. Together? Catastrophic.
Gemini
You’re as ironic as a model releasing a cook book this month. Yes, your servings are small and everything is washed down with breath freshener. To add to the fact, you count calories everywhere you go. Fortunately for the rest of us, this is just a phase and soon enough you’ll be back to your usual self, chowing down beef burgers and doing the mid-afternoon dash to get a McFlurry with double Oreos and M&M’s. But until then, even boiled water and air are not your friends.
Cancer
It’s time to climb that creative peak. You are charisma d’jour galore as you strap on those mountain boots, get your yodel on and prepare to herd some goats. The higher you climb the closer you get to your goals as the thinner the air the bigger the yak. Make sense? No, didn’t think so. Watch out for a landslide of opportunity this month in the form of job opportunities and romance as the two collide like two great Abominable Snowmen going head to head for your attention. But expect such a yeti fight if you are only willing to climb to great heights.
Leo
Matters of the heart are about to get a little bit more difficult. Yes, the pulse and throb of all things that go plop is about to palpitate around you. Prepare for the professional to get a little look in, like a chest examine or something. Things that make your heart race – such as creative pursuits – are well worth chasing after like a cheeseburger seeking out a coronary. Anything to do with financial risk taking should be avoided this month, so trim the fat and keep it sensible.
Virgo
Use all your wiles this month to attract what it is you want. Hitch up that skirt and shrink that t-shirt, the more flesh you bare, the more you’ll be sure to get what it is you desire. And that flesh doesn’t have to be literal either – it can be on a metaphorical level, although that isn’t nearly as sexy. What is sexy is confidence, and if you smear some of that on nice and thick then you are sure to look hum-dinger for it.
Libra
Ah, the darling buds of May. How they bloom. How they blossom. How they drive you crazy. It’s all about the partnerships this month, which can be a little tough for the slightly selfish Libra. Not that you’re selfish in a bad way. It’s just you are so important. Well, dammit, so are ‘they’ this month, so prepare to make yourself priority number two as the attention falls squarely on that special someone. Just be reasonable and don’t over shoot your means.
Scorpio
It’s such a wonderful month. Even you are getting in on the magic that is this month. It’s all about getting noticed, and you have a way of getting noticed, don’t you. Some people have words for people like you. I know I certainly do. Expect that office romance to heat up and for the tongues around you to start wagging. The second half of the month gets a little bit trickier… just like you. Expect conversations with your partner to intensify just like a large red frozen coke makes the afternoon all that more exciting. Ah, refined sugar.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, this May you are the afternoon sugar rush. There you are sitting at your desk when KAPOW it hits you and the next thing you know you’re filing up a storm. Your charm is natural, if not a little saccharine, and makes you the perfect candidate for finding an audience. Be sure to keep your head about you and don’t start babbling inanely to the walls or stapler, unless of course you’re planning on entertaining the rest of us.
Capricorn
Oh dearest sea-goat, how we love your wet scraggly mane. I had a sea-goat ask me the other day when I was going to start being nice to sea-goats to which I just started screaming hysterically and pointed at them and then screamed some more. When they realized that I wasn’t about to get down from on top of the filing cabinet, or stop screaming hysterically, they kinda realized that I probably wasn’t about to be nice to them any time soon. And nor should I be if you aren’t going to do something about that mane.
Aquarius
It’s time to splish splash and get those around you a little… wet. How wet? Mmmm, wet like a wet leatherette. In fact you’ll get some people sopping this month. Why? Dunno. There’s just something a little alluring about this May. And it’s not just the advances ‘coming’ your way this month… creative ideas, even those with a business slant, seem to be pouring out of your mind something fierce this May. It’s like Niagra in there ain’t it. Let’s all ride the water slides! Weeeeee!
Pisces
The aquatic theme is still with you as you sidle upstream and things literally come out of the blue. The deep blue that is. Watch out for impulsive buys. Money making ideas are rising to the surface. A relationship is floundering and needs you to call out the lifeguard. There’s a giant liner washed up on the reef of you. Unfortunately X will not mark the spot. However, Polly does think you are crackers.
Beau de Vine
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