Sex is fun; whether it’s hot, anonymous sex or intimate, connected sex.
Fuck-buddy sex can be the best of both worlds. We get to know someone’s pleasure buttons without the demands that can come with a committed relationship.
After having sex with the same person a few times, we start to build a rapport and some trust. We might be more likely to make a heat-of-the-moment decision to fuck without condoms, thinking to ourselves: “We are basically friends…surely he wouldn’t put me at risk?â€
This raises some tricky questions:
• What obligation do we have to fuck buddies?
• Would I tell my fuck buddy of any slip-ups if it meant missing out on sex?
• Would my fuck-buddy tell me if he had a slip-up?
Fucking with condoms is still the best way to prevent the HIV transmission. However, a lot of people like fucking without condoms with guys of the same HIV status. How can you ensure that your partner is the same status, and stays the same status, as you?
Here’s one solution:Talk-Test-Test -Trust. The process works something like this:
TALK to each other honestly and openly about pro’s and con’s of fucking without condoms. Sometimes it is good to get an objective third party into the discussion to cover important points like past history, present behaviours, conditions around negotiated agreement breaches. WAAIDS Council/M Clinic has trained counsellors and peer educators who can assist in facilitating that process.
The next step is to have the first TEST – a full HIV/STI screen for both of you.
At this point, you both make the agreement to use condoms for the next three months, inside and outside of the relationship.
Oops! One of you slipped up. Not to worry! Simply test again. And, so that cycle keeps going until you have reached the three month marker.
At the end of the three months you both take a second TEST. If the result is still negative then you enter the TRUST stage of the strategy – a commitment to keep each other safe from HIV/STI transmission.
None of us are perfect. There will be mistakes. Plan for it by adding testing as a regular part of your routine, making this the TALK-TEST-TEST-TRUST-TEST AGAIN Strategy.
For more information about this strategy and any other ways to keep yourself safe from HIV/STI transmission contact the M Clinic on 9380 4922 or the WA AIDS Council on 9482 0000.
Steve Fragomeni
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