Isn’t retrospect a beautiful thing? The universe has a funny sense of humor and some higher force obviously thinks it hilarious if we learnt from awkward, embarrassing and downright BAD experiences. This rings especially true for dating. From all the bad dates I’ve had (this year alone – a total list could fill a book) I’ve compiled a list of things to consider.
Let me start by saying that in my experience there is rarely a fat little cherub with wings hovering about shooting people with arrows. When you think about it, the very notion of it is macabre. If I ever meet this chubby little punk, I’ll tear his wings off and bludgeon him – he owes me big time after so many bad dates.
Here’s the thing – dating is a lot like going for a work interview. I wish I’d realized this earlier. Asking yourself if you want to see someone again is akin to asking yourself if you agree to your employers terms and conditions. Sure, there’s more romance to it than that, but when you get to the bone of it, that’s what we’re left with people.
So, what have I learned from dating?
- 1. If someone tells you the ball is in your court, run. This often means the ball is not in your court, they simply don’t know how to reject you. If you’re the one saying this tripe, quit it. Grab the situation by the balls (pun intended) and be honest.
- 2. Don’t believe anyone who tells you they had a great time until they organize the second date. This applies if you organized the first. Also don’t wait by the phone for that second date – stay out there. You wouldn’t stop looking for work after going for one interview would you?
- 3. When you ask someone out, you’re really telling them you’d like to sleep with them. It’s true: how many dates do you go on hoping it’ll end in a game of cards or Saturday night TV? It’s ok to want to sleep with someone and it’s flattering to the guy on the receiving end, so be confident. Who wants to sleep with someone submissive? (This time no pun intended).
- 4. Keep dating. Don’t stop, just keep at it. You may not meet the guy who will wheel you out on Sundays when you’re grey and feeble, but you’ll meet different single people and that can always be fun. Develop a sense of humour and create your own sitcom.
- 5. Be mindful that people talk – especially in a community as niche as ours – so watch yourself! Always be a gentleman because there’s something to be said for good old fashion manners. Don’t drink too much on a first date. You may be surprised at how mouthy you become and this may not work in your favour, in fact I can almost guarantee, it won’t.
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Thoughts on this article? Email brett@www.outinperth.com with your comments, questions, and inappropriate propositions.
