Miss Katherine takes a camp High Tea with the fabulously curvaceous and larger than life Miss Val Uptuous to discuss flora, art, abortions and Alice Springs.
Miss Katherine: Miss Val Uptuous, welcome. I have to ask, how old are you?
Val Uptuous: Thank you Miss Katherine. I am 20. [Miss K. Goes green with youth envy]
Miss K: And have you always lived in Perth?
Val: Yes, love, -born and bred.
Miss K: Do you do any other sort of work aside from Drag?
Val: I am a florist. I have just returned from the Australian Florist of the Year Competition in Alice Springs.
Miss K: My goodness how impressive! And very camp. How did it go?
Val: I was placed first.
Miss K: Does that mean you are the best florist in Australia?
Val: Only for the moment.
Miss K: Do you have a favourite flower?
Val: Love, to be honest, it changes every week. Every time a new flower comes into season I have a new favourite. At the moment I am in love with Lily of the Valley because it is so pretty and it only flowers for such a short time every year.
Miss K: Do you have a favourite food?
Val: Well, as you can see [Val majestically waves her hand across her body], I love food – any food is good food, but my favourite is Greek food.
Miss K: How long have you been doing drag?
Val: I have been doing drag for three and a half years but I have only been doing drag professionally for about two years.
Miss K: How do you manage drag and floristry at the same time?
Val: I did stop drag for a while. I could not do both – it was too much. Sometimes it is still too much. For example, I host Lesbian Mud Wrestling every Wednesday night, then I go to bed at 2am getting up again at 7am to set up and run the shop. The problem is I love drag so much that I just don’t think about it, I just cope.
Miss K: Is drag for you an art or a craft?
Val: I think it can be either and I think it can be both. Drag is what you make of it because you can take it to so many levels. Some people start at the bottom and stay at the bottom. Some people work their way up from the bottom, and some people want to be at the top and have the passion to be a Drag Queen, but they just don’t have the talent, I guess to me it is an art form because drag is whatever you make of it. My favourite Drag Queen of all time would have to be Stryker Myer – she took drag to a whole new level. Some of the things she did was beyond drag – it was art.
Miss K: Did you have a Drag Mother?
Val: The closest I ever had to a Drag Mother would be Cherry because she was the first person to put me in drag. She also helped me a little bit when I first started out, and she still helps me now.
Miss K: Do you have drag daughters?
Val: Do I have drag daughters…umm… I have had a few abortions [laughs]. Seriously, I have a few drag daughters. It is only a recent thing, and they are just starting out. I believe you have to try and encourage the new ones. Sometimes, especially after they lose a drag contest, they think they are never going to do drag again. They need to understand that that [winning] is not what drag is about, and they need to be shown that drag success is not an instant thing – it needs to be developed and it won’t come if you just plod along or sit on your arse all day.
Miss K: You were talking earlier about Lesbian Mud Wrestling, do lesbians like drag?
Val: I think lesbians sometimes love drag more than the gays. In the Pride Parade so many lesbians wanted a photo with me, and the smiles from some of the girls were priceless.
Miss K: Were you on a float during the Parade?
Val: My friend Feminem came over from Sydney for Pride, and we decided to ride on the back of a little convertible (so I borrowed Mum’s). I just love Pride and I love just being involved.
Miss K: I have met Feminen. Have you worked together before?
Val: We are both doing All Gay Cruises together in the U.S. next year, so I try to either fly to Sydney or she flies here so we can rehearse. I was recently in Sydney for a promotional photo shoot for the cruise.
Miss K: A little birdie tells me you recently went overseas…
Val: Yes, I went to Europe, spent most of my time in Germany, but traveled around while I was there… the Euro boys are so beautiful.
Miss K: Your favourite city in all the world?
Val: Dubai! It is very hard to imagine if you have never seen it, but it is a city to watch in the future. It is hot and almost desert, but the sheer opulence is just exquisite.
Miss K: As are you Miss Val, just exquisite.
