Want a little more jingle in your bells? Christmas is fast closing in upon us and it’s time to up the Christmas cheer and get festive… but how do you give sex toys and get it right?
If undertaking such an endeavour, you must first determine if the relationship between yourself and the intended recipient is one where such a gift would be well received (and I’m not just talking anatomically here). A close friend might laugh and heartily thank you (as they bolt for the nearest room with a lockable door), whereas others may not be so keen to keep the Yule fire burning. Once deciding to go ahead, many people would go the voucher option – a safer bet in many ways – however, if you wish to select the gift yourself, give due consideration: As with a gift of jewellery, with sex toys people have varying functional and aesthetic desires.
When giving a sex toy to a lover, respect their limits – a sex toy that pushes a concept already discussed and rejected by a lover is not a gift; it’s disrespectful and presumptuous. If your sex life or romantic life is a little shaky, giving a sex toy could be seen as suggesting that something is wrong or missing from the relationship and this could lead to defensive or hostile reactions – so, in such circumstances either discuss the issue with your partner beforehand or leave off on the idea completely.
When considering what to buy, one can go for the functional, the provocative and/or the humorous. A triple combo can be highly effective: What can start as a so-called ‘joke’ (read: Permission to buy/give the item in the first place) can turn serious rather quickly if the equipment in question does the job well. Mark my words, one type of smile can soon be replaced by another – a triumph all round.
When choosing your item, consider all the products on the market – the vibrators, dildos, strap-ons, butt-plugs, harnesses, balls, beads, floggers, cuffs, cock-rings, stimulators, remote control and computer interfaced devices… you’ll be spoiled for choice! Shopping online allows for an even broader view – and don’t just consider the mainstream retailer sites. New to the market is the ‘Rude Boy’ multi-stimulator and the ‘Rock Chick,’ a device with g-spot and clitoral stimulation that is said to out-KAPOW! the iVibe Rabbit. Mintox! In my foray to my local adult retailer, I noticed some nice black and red cock rings that would make rather fetching Christmas tree ornaments and was fascinated to see a life size rubber arm for sale, complete with closed fist. Good for those hard to reach places!
Depending on your circumstances, it’s probably not advisable to pop your pressie under the family Christmas tree. You never know how things will roll and the last thing you need is the kids taking off with a life-size rubber arm, though it would make the back yard cricket game far more amusing to watch. Digressions aside, sex toy gifts can cause embarrassment either to your partner or other family members, so keep such gift giving private. This may involve having to give a decoy gift to your partner if your family tradition involves opening presents together. If putting the gift under your own tree at home, a note to the wise: Don’t put the batteries in. Do so and you run the risk of unexpected humming noises as your Santa-print package scuttles across the floor and makes for the bedroom. Not a good look. Lastly, speaking of batteries, do check whether your purchase requires batteries and make sure you include them with your gift. Remember your disappointment as a kid to get a present but not have the batteries until after Boxing Day? Here we’re talking about a whole different kind of toy. You do the maths.
Until next year, a safe, happy and fun-filled festive season to you all.
