Miss Katherine excitedly travels to the Perth City House Abbey of the Black Swan for an audience with The Blessed Mother Greta Amyletta of the Holy Vapors of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to take the campest high tea of her career and discuss the history of the Sisterhood, naked pagan rituals, celibacy and great big metric rulers.
Miss Katherine: Blessed Mother Greta Amyletta of the Holy Vapors, thank you for allowing me into your abbey.
Mother Greta: My pleasure Miss Katherine! Welcome to Perth City House, Abbey of the Black Swan, if you had not asked us to be alone, we would have been served by Novice Crisco and Sister Mary Kay – with their mouths taped.
K: Oh gosh, I would love that! Blessed Mother Greta, may I ask how long have the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence been in Perth?
G: The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence is an international network of houses and abbeys. This particular Abbey has been open for four years, but the actual sisters in Perth was founded by Mother Mary Penis Envy in 1992… I have been Blessed Mother since 1996. The only reason I became mother was because no one else wanted the role, but I am not letting it go now. My role is to keep order of the house.
The Sisters began in San Francisco in the early 1970s, and the first house in Australia opened in the late 1970s. The spiritual emblem of our first house in Australia was The Holy Bitch Mother Dingo. At that time, The Lindy Chamberlain trial was in full swing and the poor dingo became a much maligned animal, so we chose the dingo as our spiritual emblem. Our emblem here in Perth is the black swan that is why our house, The Perth City House, is called the Abbey of the Black Swan.
K: Are there lesbians in the Sisterhood?
G: Yes, we do have lesbians… We also have guards, otherwise known as Knights of the Order who take care of the sisters and hang out with us, but don’t want to take the habit.
K: Is there celibacy in the sisterhood?
G: Um… no. I don’t think any of the sisters are celibate.
K: Are there any specific rituals performed by the Sisters?
G: Yes, we do have a very spiritual side. One of the sisters is a high priestess from a Wicca coven and another sister is an ex-Franciscan Monk who is now an interfaith minister… We perform wedding ceremonies, and we are quite happy to do cleansings and blessings. I belong to a pagan coven…. We celebrate the God and the Goddess, but like to refer to ourselves as kitchen witches. We belong to a gay and lesbian coven, because even in Wicca there are a problems with gays and lesbians. Many have been thrown out of covens when people find out they are gay because some of the rituals are performed sky clad [naked], so now there is a [gay] side coven… we have adapted Wicca to suit our sexuality. We are able to do healing rituals for people who have been quite sick, as the sisters we have made a number of visits to The Royal Perth Hospital to ward 10A, which is great.
K: Mother Greta, are you originally from Perth?
G: I was born in Geraldton. I am a country boy at heart!I joined the army…
K: [gasp] Cough, cough, what?
G: I am very patriotic. I joined the army – was there for three years in Sydney. I left because there were no gay guys in the army… well, so I thought at the time. Months after I left I bumped into half my regiment in a gay bar! I must have been walking around with my eyes closed… I was already a trained chef, so I went into running a few restaurants around Sydney, returning to Perth in 1987 and opening a restaurant in Fremantle… got sick of food altogether, and now I deliver furniture.
K: [hiccup] This tea is lovely and sweet, what is it? [hiccup]
G: That is Sherry, dear, Cream Sherry.
K: Oops, so it is, delicious… A little birdie tells me you and the sisters are doing a number for Club West?
G: [sarcastically with hands on hips] Where did you hear that rumour?… Yes, we might be doing a number in the March show. The last time we were on stage, we sang live at Connections. We did the 100 days of Christmas and sang until we were booed off the stage – I think we got to the 30th day of Christmas… I am not allowed tell what we will be doing this time – all I can say is I just love the sound of music. We have also been asked to be noise monitors during the show. We will be walking amongst the tables in our habits with great big rulers… I just can’t wait to get that ruler in my hand!
K: Heavens Forbid!
The sisterhood is always looking for new members, anyone interested in becoming a novice email new.perth.opi@hotmail.com
