Premium Content:

Lezzons with Sadie Spade

Make some sense of the lesbian world she now finds herself in. Sadie Spade continues her journey into the saphic sphere. 

- Advertisement -

 

It was Monday morning. I was in the same clothes I’d worn to the office on Friday. Actually, the clothes I’d worn to the office on Friday were strewn across the mezzanine of my best friend’s apartment. I was naked on a blowup mattress and someone was spooning me, gently stroking my hand. I looked down. It was a she-hand. And with that, Sunday night’s events came flooding back to me, past the three pints of beer, five comedy peanuts and bottle of Bombay Sapphire I’d managed to imbibe.

 

It’s a funny thing waking up naked next to a stranger. Many of us look for a modesty veil – a bed sheet, a tea towel, a Cabbage Patch Doll – to cover ourselves with before collecting our articles, trying to pretend that the stranger in question has not seen every last inch of our personal private business the night before. But she had, and no amount of make-believe could change the fact I’d just had a comedy one-night-stand and was presently dealing with a comedy one-right-hand-stroker.

 

I had to get out of there and just hope that my best friend and her partner were none the wiser of the evening’s events. I legged it downstairs to the living room where I was met by said partner. She was shaking her head and holding out a glass of water for me. Apparently she, herself, was quite the camel and had popped past the mezzanine to get herself some high quality H2O during the course of my Li-lo romp. My secret was out in the open. Me? Still not so much, I took the water, left my dignity, and cabbed it to the office.

 

As I sat at my desk pretending to compile official documents, but actually reliving the experience blow by blow, I found some solace. Even in my booze haze the night before, I’d put limitations on what we’d gotten up to. I found some comfort in the fact I could have had a similar experience if I’d gotten down with a boy… and then gotten down with my bad self directly afterwards. So, I decided to store it away as an experiment, one that I had no intention of revisiting or putting forward for any Nobel prizes. I was in my midtwenties and just a freewheeling kind of gal. Most importantly though… I was still straight.

 

Sadie Spade

Latest

Julia Zemiro to host ABC’s new true-crime panel show ‘Crime Night!’

"Anyone who loves bingeing the latest true crime podcast, or playing detective in the group chat, this is the show for you."

Paola Pivi exhibition brings explosion of colour to AGWA

The Italian-born artist is known for playfully blurring the line between fantasy and reality, incorporating animals and everyday objects in surreal scenarios.

LGBTIQA+ Diversity and Inclusion workshop coming to Applecross Anglican Church

The event offers a relaxed opportunity to learn more about how to better promote LGBTIQA+ inclusion.

Unwrap Christmas in July at The Queens

Warm up your winter and get into the yuletide spirit extra early this year with Christmas in July at The Queens Hotel.

Newsletter

Don't miss

Julia Zemiro to host ABC’s new true-crime panel show ‘Crime Night!’

"Anyone who loves bingeing the latest true crime podcast, or playing detective in the group chat, this is the show for you."

Paola Pivi exhibition brings explosion of colour to AGWA

The Italian-born artist is known for playfully blurring the line between fantasy and reality, incorporating animals and everyday objects in surreal scenarios.

LGBTIQA+ Diversity and Inclusion workshop coming to Applecross Anglican Church

The event offers a relaxed opportunity to learn more about how to better promote LGBTIQA+ inclusion.

Unwrap Christmas in July at The Queens

Warm up your winter and get into the yuletide spirit extra early this year with Christmas in July at The Queens Hotel.

“Stop dithering” Peter Tatchell calls on UK government to tackle conversion therapy

Labour have failed to take action during their first year in government.

Julia Zemiro to host ABC’s new true-crime panel show ‘Crime Night!’

"Anyone who loves bingeing the latest true crime podcast, or playing detective in the group chat, this is the show for you."

Paola Pivi exhibition brings explosion of colour to AGWA

The Italian-born artist is known for playfully blurring the line between fantasy and reality, incorporating animals and everyday objects in surreal scenarios.

LGBTIQA+ Diversity and Inclusion workshop coming to Applecross Anglican Church

The event offers a relaxed opportunity to learn more about how to better promote LGBTIQA+ inclusion.