To say Sia is a perpetual child is a vast understatement. Sia is the quintessential Peta Pan, all wide-eyed and child-like abandonment.
It’s when she talks that she belies her blatant inner child. She literally gushes enthusiasm, her tales a tumble and roll of excitement. She begins her interview on the phone from New York by talking about a that wedding she and her lesbian lover recently attended.
‘The wedding was really crazy. It was immense,’ Sia giggled, audibly pulling off her tights. ‘They flew us out there, it was the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced. It was for some friends of ours, someone that we went to school with. He got married to this really beautiful girl whose dad made his money out of Persian rugs and pharmaceuticals.
‘We stayed at the hotel that’s famous for getting you anything you want. If you want Iranian caviar, they’ll get the bell boy to get his passport, and they’ll fly him to Iran, get him to buy a jar of it and bring it back for you… and they just charge you for the flights. And for the caviar.’
Apparently the wedding was surprisingly super-gay with only six straight couples in attendance, including the bride and groom.
‘We threw out a call for sperm, because the band MEN played. So during one of their songs – which is called Credit Card Babie$, which is about how gay babies cost a lot to make, and it’s kind of prohibitive and it’s a bit of a bummer – during that song she sort of threw out a call for sperm. We’ve met some good spermulators.’
Without sparing a breath the conversation rambles through the territory of turkey basting.
‘Apparently it costs $2000 to have them do an IUI,’ Sia gasped. ‘That whole turkey baster stuff – it’s not real! I didn’t realise, because I’m new gay. Apparently when you buy sperm it is inside a little cocaine vial, and it’s like… water. All those millions of sperm suspended in so little fluid.’
Sia is still riding high on the success of her latest album Some People Have Real Problems with her forthcoming – and reportedly final – album, We Are Born, due out next year. Her songs have been remixed by the best, picked up for adverts and even appear on the latest Prince of Persia video game. She’s so hot The Advocate dubbed her one of the hottest openly out entertainers in their recent 40 under 40 list.
‘I’m going to expect some different kinds of heckling, which is always good, because that means every show will be different in some ways, but really it’s up to you – plural,’ Sia said what people could expect from her upcoming tour.
‘I think since I was there maybe I learnt how to do sign language, so I think I’ll probably do some sign language during a song, and I met someone on Twitter today who wants to do signing at one of the concerts, so I think he’s going to get up and do a couple of songs.’
Sia is living her dream. Not the dream, but her own personal dream: one where music reigns supreme. And not in a popstar way. For Sia, such limelight is too bright.
‘I always wanted to make a living out of music and now I am, and that’s been really great. It’s a pretty easy job, it’s a job I really enjoy. I don’t really enjoy touring, and I don’t really enjoy promotion. I think I’ve learnt that whilst saying yes to everything I think that I’m learning that I probably want to me more behind the scenes.
‘I’ve been trying to manifest writing pop songs for popstars, and slowly but surely that’s come to fruition. And you know, being able to write songs for Christina Aguilera and Will Young, and Natasha Bedingfield, and now I’m hoping that that stuff brings me more of that sort of thing, I’m hoping that I can bring out one more record and then hopefully retire and be a songwriter for other people.
‘That’s what it’s taught me – it’s taught me that I don’t really want to be a big star. I don’t have the discipline, and I feel pretty confident in a lot of ways, but I don’t have the gumption to take all the pressure of being thin, conforming to a stereotype – I just want to be liked too much. I think I’d be doing my emotional self a disservice if I stayed in this industry for much longer.’
It’s this ant-starlet approach which has probably garnered Sia so many fans. Her recent ‘conversion’ to lesbianism has also garnered her more respect, particularly from her already diehard gay following. However, Sia alludes to having an ambigious sexuality, one that is fluid and carefree, much like her child-like nature.
‘I don’t care if you’re a boy or a girl,’ she clarified. ‘I’ve never been more attracted to women or men or unicorns; I just like people for who they are, so I think it’s nice to be included in a list of people who are honest about who they are, and that’s a real compliment.’
Of course, no interview with Sia is complete without asking what the most vital question, the one all her gay fans want to know the answer too: what’s it like working with Christina Aguilera?!?
‘She’s like a porcelain doll. She has the most amazing manicures, the most amazing dressing room – all of my gay friends would fucking die to go and spend an hour in her dressing room, with her wall of shoes. She’s just a big talent.’
As are you, Sia, as are you.
Sia appears at the Astor Theatre on November 24. Tickets are available now.
Scott-Patrick Mitchell
