Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin

by Nicole Hardy

Allen & Unwin

Nicole Hardy is a devout Mormon who really didn’t question her upbringing. The Mormon Church has a system of absolutes, dictating only one right way to live and promising spiritual rewards for those who do not give into lustful desires. When she turned twelve, she was told all about the law of chastity and “the slippery slope to sin and the threat of eternal punishment”. The church dictated that all of its flock were to be heterosexual, married and monogamous and even masturbation was considered a sin. There were many positives to the path of purity. As books replaced boyfriends, Nicole’s teenage years didn’t include experimentation, rebellion or risk. Comparing herself with her friends, she was thankful that she lived in a family where “no one drinks, no one cheats, no one lies and on one leaves”.

Plenty of people wait to they are married before having sex, but the adventurous and independent Nicole wasn’t particularly interested in getting married. The restrictions of her faith meant that marriage closed doors on many of the things she wanted to accomplish in her life. It dictated that the highest calling for females was to be honourable wives and mothers, but Nicole wanted to be a writer and travel the world. Her personal story gives a great insight into the restrictions of the Mormon faith and the dilemmas faced by those who can’t squeeze themselves into the rigid expectations of their faith. By the time she reached the age of thirty, she could no longer pretend that she wasn’t a sexual being. Not wanting to jeopardise her eternal salvation, she went on a mission to find a husband.

Nicole is a very endearing person who lets readers into her very personal battle as she searches for a life partner while the sex issue casts a huge shadow over everything she does. She shares her attempts to disconnect with her body and her realisation that she is not a considered a worthy person by her faith even though she is valued elsewhere. Also, a large percentage of her friends are gay or bisexual and they can’t all be the sinners she has been lead to believe. The question is, will she remain a Mormon or will she risk being shunned by her family to have sex?

Lezly Herbert

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