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Brett's Take – Bad Fish & Good Relationships

Photo courtesy of Rachel Davison

There’s a place that lays beyond the dating world – it’s the world of relationships. It should come as no surprise that this world comes with a different set of rules, guidelines, pros and, of course, cons. For the serial dater it can be a case of lost in translation – the world becomes a different place, and if you’re lucky enough you can become a different person.

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If the dating world is a battlefield then entering the world of relationships means you have to strip off the armor and let yourself be seen by someone, wounds and all. You trade glimpses of battle scars hopefully when you’re done doing that you find someone you live and someone who loves you in return –it’s the holy grail for many single people but here’s the bitch – you can’t have love without intimacy. If one thing is true of many single people, it’s the fact that they are no good at being intimate.

If you know anything about movies you’ll know that Dangerous Liaisons is a great film. It shows love for what it is – a simple notion that people complicate through fragile ego and social convention. Somewhere along the way Glenn Close learns that ‘happiness and vanity are incompatible’ and it makes sense when you think about the reasons single because have a rocky trip on the way to relationships.

Here’s what I’ve learnt. If someone can sit next to you without flinching after watching you vomit out bad fish, there are probably worth keeping. It’s a good sign they have intimacy down-packed and they could teach you a few tricks of the trade. It’s true: there are plenty of fish in the sea. But when you’re done feeling sick with the bad ones it’s clever to allow yourself to grow attached to the catch of the day that swims along –any good fisherman will tell you that.

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