Online auction house eBay International has decreed that Prime Minister John Howard’s integrity does not exist. Invoking its ‘no item’ rule, eBay removed a listing described as ‘John Howard’s Integrity’, deeming it non-existent. The item was listed for 67 hours and generated significant attention, attracting over 1,354 visits and 27 bids. The bidding peaked at US$51.00 before the listing was pulled.

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The item ‘John Howard’s Integrity’ apparently contravened an eBay rule that items sold through the website must be tangible and of value. The seller, ‘CapitalIdeas2007’, who described the item in auction notes as a ‘genuine 1950’s mind set …with a veneer… in splendid condition’ answered queries from potential buyers throughout the auction period. A photo of a blonde woman in a red dress gesturing to apparently empty space accompanied the listing.

The item was listed in an EBay category which included political and historical memorabilia and Scout pins. One visitor ‘AustraliansRus’ pinpointed the polemic in advance, asking ‘Are you allowed to sell something that doesn’t exist?’. eBay soon clarified the position, removing the listing shortly after at 3:30pm EST on Wednesday 3 May 2007.

Seller Item’s Description:

You are bidding on an original 1950’s mind set. Genuine period flaws make this a truly unique item. While the internal mechanism (not in photo) is damaged it still spins at full speed. The veneer is in splendid condition. You will be disappointed or your money back.

Questions Posed by Visitors to the Seller:

Q: I was wondering how you got him south of the border? Must be some illegal entrants seeking refuge who plan to depart Melbourne Airport for a more reasonable open democracy? (spiller888)

A: Fortunately this country has an abundance of cages capable of holding even the very small (& our product is EXTREMELY small) so we have been able to keep the integrity locked away. As for refugees – sorry we have none for sale today – It is difficult to find a mint condition refugee as they are generally damaged or destroyed soon after arrival. (Capitalideas2007)

Q: This item, if it exists, seems priceless. I imagine George Dubbla (sic) could buy anything. What hope has an ordinary person like me against his interests? (Thisplace59)

A: Fear not! While you are not alone in coveting this item, we are expecting bids from people who already have a little integrity of their own and wish to expand their collections. George W is not such a person. Furthermore he has never shown the slightest bit of interest in preserving Howard’s Integrity and we do not expect him to start now. (Capitalideas2007)

Q: Will I save on shipping costs if I also take Tony Abbott’s dignity when purchasing with you? Wait I can’t find that item anymore…..(adam_foran)

A: Unfortunately DNA tests confirmed that the dignity was NOT Tony Abbott’s. However, fetching samples of his nuttiness have yet to be aborted. (Capitalideas2007)

Q: Postage? Ha! Can I keep the microscope it was viewed in for authenticity? (Tobler.1)

A: Sorry, industrial grade microscope too large for shipment. (Capitalideas2007)

Q: How do you respond to allegations that Johnny’s integrity sank off the coast of Australia during the Tampa Crisis? (AustraliansRus)

A: What kind of Prime Minister would throw their integrity overboard? We don’t want people like THAT in this country. (Capitalideas2007)

Q: Are you allowed to sell something that doesn’t exist? (AustraliansRus)

A: Good question (Capitalideas2007 )

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