I’m not sure if I’m good at making friends. Colleagues – sure, acquaintances – got hundreds of them, but true friends are few and far between.
Of course if you ask Facebook I currently have 1,379 friends. While I only connect with people I actually know, to call everyone on that list a friend is probably an overstatement.
At a time when technology allows us to be the most connected that we’ve ever been, are we the most disconnected we’ve ever been?
Often I wonder if we make it hard to create friendships. I recently saw an acquaintance chastised on a social networking group for daring to speak to a younger person. The younger people in the Facebook group felt it was inappropriate for an older person to strike up a conversation with a younger person.
Several younger people noted that often when an older person spoke to them, they ended up being hit on. “There’s nothing creepier than having someone 20 years older, hit on you.”
And while I understand this sentiment, I hate to break the news but when you’re 40, you’ll still be hit on by people 20 years older than you… and you may also find it creepy to be propositioned by people 20 years younger than you. But why is it our default position to expect that anyone who speaks to us also wants to have sex with us?
On another popular social app, Grindr, we see people with profiles that read “only here for chat” and “don’t speak to me unless you’re between 19 and 23”. Maybe the most enlightening conversation of your life could be with someone who is 26, 36 or even 76 – but you’ll never know.
While I don’t have a rolodex filled with close friends, the great friends I do have are not exactly the same age as me, some are much younger, and some are much older than I am. By having friends of different ages I get to discover new things.
An older friend introduced me to Keith Jarrett’s Koln Concert (amazing!), while a younger friend taught me the short cuts on some editing software. In turn I’ve shown a younger friend how to put a vinyl record on a turntable and explained Twitter to an older friend.
GRAI – ‘LGBTI Rights in Ageing’ are about to launch a great project that aims to connect younger and older members of the community. It’s a brilliant initiative called Q Connect which aims to provide a space for older and younger people to share experiences.
Be bold, talk to someone who was born and grew up in a different decade to you.
Graeme Watson
Image: Claire Alexander
