Colin Lane is a self-confessed cynical old bastard. Why else would he be putting together a comedy show which delves right into the barren heart of popular music.
Best known for his part in the musical twosome with Lano and Woodley, Lane is now kicking it solo style, this the equivalent of his breakaway album, this defiant stand against the establishment. So to speak.
The show is called I’m Not Sure About The Music, and it’s something Lane feels passionately about: pop music is a vacuous audio wave of dull boring dance music, beep beep beep, bop bop bop.
‘I’m not buying into it, no,’ Lane says of the oversaturated allure of pop music. ‘I’m intrigued by why people buy the records when they haven’t heard a song. I’m trying to figure out how popular music can just… not brainwash people, but I’m trying to figure it out.
‘The Beatles? Great. The Rolling Stones? Tops. Grunge? Beautiful – well, basically grunge is heavy metal with a better producer. Rap? Revolutionary. Matchbox 20 and Lady GaGa… what are they giving us that we haven’t heard before?’
It’s questions such as these Lane will be exploring once he hits the stage under the stars at Fremantle Arts Centre, accompanied by Mark Fitzgibbon on piano.
‘It’s kind of a cathartic show in a way. I mean I would hope that I’m not a cynical old bastard, but I don’t know if I want to be on that team of people who fist bump at concerts and flick their lighters on and buy t-shirts and the merch and CDs and download stuff off iTunes.
‘I don’t know about that team and I don’t know whether I want to be on that team and it might be because I’m a cynical old bastard but I think I probably knew this when I was like 16 or 17. Everybody else was buying KISS and ABBA and The Angels and I was not and I’m just trying to figure that out.
‘I’m trying to figure out why 20 million people bought Michael Jackson’s Thriller album. Then again, five million bought Milli Vanilli’s album, which was just glorified lip synching. And why do people go and pay $150 to go see Britney Spears… lip-sync? I just don’t know why.’
In an attempt to make sense of it all Lane hits the microphone singing. Sinatra and Dean Martin make the playlist. As do The Killers. And The Veronicas?
‘Well, yes,’ Lane confessed. ‘I’m kind of singing it to the people as a way of explaining that why do people like The Veronicas. They’ve got this weird little incestuous sexual thing, you know, pouting at each other and at the camera. Why does that happen? What’s the appeal?
‘It’s all about being “cool†and I think The Veronicas are cool, but what makes them cool? Are they too cool for school? Is it alright if they think they’re cool? Is that still cool, if they think that they’re cool?’
‘I mean, in this country, if you’re cool but you think you’re cool then you’re up yourself, and then people don’t like you because you’re up yourself. Nobody likes somebody that’s up themselves and nobody likes somebody who’s a try-hard. So it’s incredibly complex, the whole kind of cause and effect and appeal of rock and roll stars. I don’t know, I’m confused.’
It’s sure to make perfect sense once Lane hits the stage. And if it doesn’t? That’s perfectly fine too. After all, there’s very little about current pop music that does make very much sense. Except Lady GaGa’s outfits, of course.
Colin Lane appears at Fremantle Arts Centre from December 9-13. Tickets are available now from www.heatseeker.com
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