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Lezzons with Sadie Spade

Make some sense of the lesbian world she now finds herself in. Sadie Spade continues her journey into the saphic sphere. 

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It was Monday morning. I was in the same clothes I’d worn to the office on Friday. Actually, the clothes I’d worn to the office on Friday were strewn across the mezzanine of my best friend’s apartment. I was naked on a blowup mattress and someone was spooning me, gently stroking my hand. I looked down. It was a she-hand. And with that, Sunday night’s events came flooding back to me, past the three pints of beer, five comedy peanuts and bottle of Bombay Sapphire I’d managed to imbibe.

 

It’s a funny thing waking up naked next to a stranger. Many of us look for a modesty veil – a bed sheet, a tea towel, a Cabbage Patch Doll – to cover ourselves with before collecting our articles, trying to pretend that the stranger in question has not seen every last inch of our personal private business the night before. But she had, and no amount of make-believe could change the fact I’d just had a comedy one-night-stand and was presently dealing with a comedy one-right-hand-stroker.

 

I had to get out of there and just hope that my best friend and her partner were none the wiser of the evening’s events. I legged it downstairs to the living room where I was met by said partner. She was shaking her head and holding out a glass of water for me. Apparently she, herself, was quite the camel and had popped past the mezzanine to get herself some high quality H2O during the course of my Li-lo romp. My secret was out in the open. Me? Still not so much, I took the water, left my dignity, and cabbed it to the office.

 

As I sat at my desk pretending to compile official documents, but actually reliving the experience blow by blow, I found some solace. Even in my booze haze the night before, I’d put limitations on what we’d gotten up to. I found some comfort in the fact I could have had a similar experience if I’d gotten down with a boy… and then gotten down with my bad self directly afterwards. So, I decided to store it away as an experiment, one that I had no intention of revisiting or putting forward for any Nobel prizes. I was in my midtwenties and just a freewheeling kind of gal. Most importantly though… I was still straight.

 

Sadie Spade

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