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Cowboys and Aliens (M)

Directed by Jon Favreau.

The first time I became aware of Daniel Craig’s rear end in centre frame at the beginning of this film, I thought that he must be uncomfortable with such a ‘wedgie’. The next time I realised there had been half a dozen more shots of his derriere, I realised that I had never really noticed a cowboy’s posterior in films because, in keeping with the time, they usually wore baggy woollen trousers.

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When I realised that the camera was definitely fetishising Craig’s arse in gluteus-hugging pants, clearly defined by chaps, I looked around me at the mainly male audience and wondered who the target audience was supposed to be.

Directed by Iron Man’s Jon Favreau, I had high expectations of Cowboys and Aliens. Certainly, the beginning was promising with the stranger (Daniel Craig) with no memory stumbling into the desert town of Absolution some time in 1875, wearing a futuristic bracelet. Confronting Woodrow Dolarhyde (69 year-old Harrison Ford) and finding out that he is the wanted outlaw Jake Lonergan upped the ante, as did Dolarhyde’s contemptible son Percy (Paul Dano).

Inhabitants of the town were being abducted, and this is where the scriptwriters lost their way because these advanced species weren’t being very subtle, using lassoes from spaceships to haul in their victims.
This satire takes itself far too seriously as the formidable aliens turn out to be slow-paced, slimy green creatures running around naked, waving appendages and shooting inaccurately.

Of course, their pyrotechnics are no match for the good old-fashioned posse, armed with some knowledge from some cooperative first Americans. It wouldn’t be the first time a bully and a criminal teamed up to save the world, but this time is better forgotten, unless you want to count exactly how many times the camera catches Daniel Craig’s posterior.

Lezly Herbert

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