Initial thoughts on Anthela Basigera may bring you to think that in this month’s #GayBoyProblems might be about a new Drag Queen from the likes of Rupaul’s Drag Race but no, that’s not the case at all. You see after trawling through the depths of yet another gay dating app I came across a profile picture of a man that appeared to have some kind of fuzzy fauna growing on his face. I quickly hopped on to the ever reliable Google to come to the conclusion that said animal must indeed be Anthela Basigera – which is a really damn hairy caterpillar found in South Australia and Victoria! This guy had two of these things growing above his eyes.
What I want to draw attention to is the various ways in which we GayBoys can solve the heinous invasion of Anthela Basigera A.K.A. ‘bushy eyebrows’.
Waxing: I’ll admit that when things get a bit tough above the eyes it’s time to get rough and show those monsters what’s what. The best way to tackle waxing is to not tackle it at all and head to the salon and let a professional do it for you. Despite Coles selling numerous home facial waxing kits in the beauty isle I can assure you that you will not end up as a beauty with wax in your eye and half an Anthela Basigera missing from your face. If you must DIY then employ the help of a friend and at least then you can blame the botch job on them.
Shaving: For those who are struck with the conjoined-Anthela Basigera or the mono-brow you can easily separate those bad boys with a gentle flick of the old razor. If you have taken my advice and gone to a waxing salon, you can disregard this completely because you, my friend, now look presentable to the world. My only advice is never to shape the whole brow with a razor and go at the middle on an angle, and you need at least two fingers as a gap. You know what? Just go to a salon, damn it, this is your face we’re taking about, don’t f**k with it.
Plucking: Once you’ve waxed those bad boys into something presentable you want to keep them tamed -nobody like a rogue Anthela Basigera. Plucking is a good way to avoid a reoccurring mono and keep your eyebrows in shape but be warned: it hurts like a mother trucker. If you’re too lazy then GO TO THE SALON! Honestly, they know what they are doing.
Matthew Edwards
