Dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, fleshlights… latex, vinyl, jelly, cyberskin, glass, stainless steel… sex toys come in all manner of shapes and sizes. I have even seen one that has been modelled on an orca’s genitalia – no, seriously!
I clearly remember the first time I ever bought a dildo. I was just 18. I was so painfully embarrassed about entering an adult store that I chose one on the other side of the river, in a suburb I never went to, and even then I parked around the corner in case someone I knew saw me. I bought an 8-inch dildo. It was so thrilling and yet fraught with terrible feelings of guilt. Something tells me I’m not alone in feeling that way. Now I stroll confidently into an adult shop and request all manner of sexual aids, or order them across the internet using my credit card without even blinking an eye. It’s funny what plays on your mind when you are a novice to the situation…
I also remember when I upgraded to my first ‘big’ sex toy. Of course, ‘big’ is a relative term, and I’m not at liberty to say how big, but my partner exclaimed, ‘what are you intending to do with that?!’ when I brought it home. When I look at it now, it is actually quite a tame lil’-tacka, and the partner too has relaxed considerably about it. I realise now that sex toys are about boundaries, limits and taboos; and all of those things are relative and changeable.
Comparing toys of others is always fun; inspecting them for texture, size, colour, shape, history. The grass always seems to be greener on the other side of the blanket. Checking out someone else’s sex toys gives you a kind of insight into that person. It can suggest whether they are playful with their toys, sensual and seductive, seriously adventurous or just a novice starting out. Some people have them rattling around in bedside table drawers while others have them in unmarked boxes deeply hidden in bedroom cupboards. Still others will have their entire arsenal laid out for all to ogle.
Small, large, cyberskin or glass, sex toys are fun to have. The next instalment will look at the ins and outs, the dos and don’ts, and what you should do in the embarrassing instance of getting one stuck. Until then, ciao!
Steve Fragomeni, Project X Team
