For the first time in Eurovision Song Contest history, a performance was made on behalf of Australia, not as part of the competition but in an interval act starring Jessica Mauboy.

Olivia Newton John was the first Australian to perform in the competition, singing ‘Long Live Love’ on behalf of the UK in 1974. Indeed, a number of Australians have made contributions to the Eurovision cannon over the years, but Mauboy’s performance marks the first time a solo artist was invited to perform on behalf of our beloved ‘Straya.

A presenter explained that Australians had been watching Eurovision for 20 years and were desperate to get in on the competition. Cut to Julia Zemiro executing a diabolical plot to make Australia part of Europe. Then the stage is flooded with dancers trussed up in the most nauseastingly stereotypical Australiana the world has seen since the Sydney Olympics. The koalas, footy players and blokes in shorts band together to sing:

“We’ll put dingos in Romania,
Emus in Albania
and Speedos… on your genitalia.”

Yep. That happened. But never fear, Darwin’s own pop songstress Jessica Mauboy appears to bolster our dignity with the song she penned especially for the occasion ‘Sea of Flags’. It’s the kind of inspirational dramatic pop number worthy of a silver gown with metres of train and a good measure of leg.

Then, to cap off the performance with a good measure of weirdness in true Eurovision style, an astronaut bearing the Aboriginal flag floated down onto the stage and said ‘One small step for Europe, one giant leap for Australia’.

I for one am proud to see our country measure up to the shameless enthusiasm and earnest cheesiness that Europe has been bringing to our screens for years in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Watch the whole beautiful mess below and advance Australia fair.

Sophie Joske