Wank Bank Masterclass | Casa Mondo | til 17th Feb | ★ ★ ★ ★ 

To quote my straight mate who accompanied me to this Fringe show, “Dammit, I’ve been wanking wrong this whole time!!!” Which sums up what is on the (laminated for a reason) menu at this filthy and informative hour of festival entertainment.

When Adam Seymour was a struggling artist searching for funding to put on a show, he turned to his version of the oldest profession in the world, in his case that entailed becoming a happy ending masseuse in Manhattan.

Over the course of one hour the audience is guided through the intricacies of increasing blood flow to the pelvic region and the hopes for release and subsequent clean-up operation involved in the messy business of getting off. The something for everyone menu includes Rock around the Cock, Cockupressure and my personal favourite Palm Sunday.

Fair warning, it’s probably best not to attend this show with a member of your immediate family as one former audience member found out when faced with the awkward task of wanking off her father-in-laws cucumber. The audience participation factor is high and involves the communal use of cucumbers, coconut oil and the most original use of the sign of peace since the second coming of Christ.

Seymour also keeps it in the family, being assisted by burlesque legend Strawberry Siren, who acts as his assistant and is also presenting the Wank Bank sister show, Pussy Play.

Wank Bank Masterclass will be at the Casa Mondo until Sunday 17th February. Tickets and more information available from fringeworld.com.au

Clinton Little

Image:- Dave D’Arcy