TASTY TATIES!
WIRE IN THE BLOOD (Sat Apr 19, ABC – 11pm) – Weirdly hunky Robson Green returns as the hunkily weird Doctor Tony Hill, a Forensic Psychologist with almost as many screws rolling around his brilliant but loopy cranium as the serial killers he profiles. Lots of regular queer characters, and we often even survive to the end credits with a pulse.
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (Mon Apr 21, Seven – 8:30pm) – There’s a gay couple moved in to Wisteria Lane! Tuc Walkins and Kevin Rahm play this season’s Desperate Househusbands, who quickly bond with the girls and distract the gay viewers from raging about the upcoming plotline in which gay teen Andrew Van de Camp experiments with women.
THAT MITCHELL AND WEBB LOOK (Wed Apr 23, ABC – 9:30PM) – Sketch comedy with oddball characters played by two titular comedians, this is LITTLE BRITAIN with less wit and far less convincing old-age makeup and fat-suits. It’s not as worryingly racist as some parts of LITTLE BRITAIN, but you’ve seen it all before and bought the video and the t-shirt. Occasional laughs and some queer content.
SOGGY CHIPS!
SCRUBS (Sun Apr 27, Seven – 10:30pm) – I must have a natural immunity to the doses of humour prescribed in this long-running, allegedly humorous hospital ER-based sitcom as I cannot detect the slightest symptoms of humour. I find it dull, predictable, and unpalatably saccharine – a comedic placebo at best. That being said, I still wouldn’t mind giving series lead Zach Braff (who debuted playing queer in THE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB) a beef injection. Stat!
STUFF (Tues Apr 29, ABC – 8pm) – Is it possible for a TV Station to rip off one of their own shows whilst it’s still airing? Auntie pulls off this enviable juggling feat with STUFF, a show that looks at people who collect things and the things they collect and is totally different, therefore, to the ABC’s COLLECTORS, which looks at exactly the same thing three days later. The primary difference is that COLLECTORS is a keepsake, but STUFF is a Pack-Rat caught by the exterminator, due largely to host Wendy Harmer – a former comedian.
HOT POTATOES!
BURN NOTICE (Tues Apr 29, Ten – 9:30pm) – A ‘Burned Agent’ does not, surprisingly, refer to David Duchovny’s lacklustre, walking-through-the-part shuffle in the dire last 2 seasons of THE X FILES. Rather, it refers to an agent who has been in some way compromised and deemed unreliable. BURN NOTICE, so far, is not unreliable – it’s a fairly engaging comedy-drama about three agents whom have been given the titular career-compromising catch-phrase. Fiona (Gabrielle Anwar) is an ex-IRA operative turned FBI computer whizz (I assume her Burn Notice came about due to her suspect, on-again-off-again accent); Michael, a maverick, borderline-fruitcake G-Man played by Jeffrey Donovan (BLAIR WITCH 2’s only redeeming feature); and cult icon Bruce Campbell, the original sexy geek (EVIL DEAD trilogy, BUBBA HO-TEP, XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS) as Sam, a semi-retired Navy SEAL who still looks mighty fine in a wetsuit. Throw in QUEER AS FOLK USA alumni Sharon Gless as Mike’s (literally) take no prisoners Mom and you have a show that’s not ready for the Burn Barrel just yet.
CASHMERE MAFIA (Wed Apr 30, Nine – 9:30pm) – With its SEX & THE CITY-esque vibe (four female best friends, ambitious in life, love and lovelife, trying to make it – in numerous senses – in New York City), this isn’t the most original of shows – it’s not so much a Cashmere sweater than one of those cheap knock-offs you can buy in bulk in various dodgy shops in the Near East. Still, it’s a fairly funny show, if far less sexually daring (the only ‘C’ Word uttered regularly being ‘Coffee’) and does feature up and, er, coming Dyke-Icons such as Miranda Otto’s Juliette. CASHMERE even tosses us a well drawn lesbian as one of the four main gals – Bonnie Somerville as Caitlin. When she gets the obligatory case of the hots for a cute guy right after coming out though, one wonders when TV Land will learn that ‘lesbian’ does not translate to ‘will do it with you and your girlfriend, dude!’?!!
SPUDS IN SPACE!
GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE (Mon Apr 28, SBS – 1:30am) – Astonishingly beautiful animation coupled with a plot so convoluted it could serve as a cryptic crossword, this cult anime series is a spinoff of the equally cult and equally gorgeous mental quicksand that is the Japanese anime movie GHOST IN THE SHELL (1995) and its sequel GHOST IN THE SHELL 2: INNOCENCE (2005). I’ve seen both movies and you’d think that would hold me in good stead for the series, but, nope, I haven’t a clue what’s going on. Closest I’ve got so far is that it involves future humanity’s quest for immortality leading them to increasingly replace their physical bodies with mechanical one – which is not such a leap when you consider Joan Rivers and Botox (both of them virulently dangerous toxins associated with staying youthful). The show, like the films, constantly asks what it means to be human. Judging by this reviewer, to be human is to be enthralled but totally mystified by cult Japanese animation.
