I’m Not Really Here
by Gary Lonesborough
Allen & Unwin
Internationally acclaimed bestselling Indigenous author Gary Lonesborough was recently shortlisted for the 2024 Prime Ministers Literary Award, as well as shortlisted for the Readings YA Prize for his 2023 book We Didn’t Think This Through.
As a queer Indigenous kid, Lonesborough felt alienated by the books he read. In writing books for young adults, he explores LGBTQIA+ issues, identity, belonging and friendship, and his latest book I’m Not Really Here looks at body weight issues as well as all the emotions that come with first love.
Seventeen year–old Jonah moves to Patience with his father and two younger brothers. Patience is surrounded by acres of dairy farms and not at all like the place that his father Fred King described growing up in.
Jonah wasn’t good at making friends. His most recent memory before his move is when he asked his only friend Ben if he ever thought of him as more than a friend. Even thinking about Ben’s reaction still makes his stomach feel sour.
Being gay and overweight doesn’t help when trying to get the confidence to seek out friendships. Apart from having to overcome his critical self-talk, Jonah is still mourning the death of his mother and doesn’t feel like putting himself out there.
Then Jonah is introduced to his father’s friend’s son Harley who is in the same year 11 class at his new school. Jonah even joins the football team so he can spend more time with his new crush, but he is not going to make the same mistake as he did with Ben.
Why does he always like people he can’t have? Jonah laments that he “wouldn’t have this problem if there were no sexual preferences, and all humans were attracted to every gender and being a boy who is attracted to another boy didn’t feel so weird and wrong”.
Fortunately, family and friends help Jonah with the emotional journey to come to terms with the loss of his mother and find the confidence to claim his place in the world.
Lezly Herbert
