In a world of plenty it’s difficult keeping things in perspective. These days we’ve become accustomed to having everything we want, no matter the cost and often we’re caught off-guard when we come across something we want, but can’t have. It’s especially difficult when everyone else seems to have it. This rings especially true in the capitalist’s world of relationships.
All around me this week I’ve seen happy couples doing happy things, making happy plans. It’s like walking into an Ikea catalogue of shiny happy gays – the only problem with this picture is that I don’t seem to fit into it.
Relationships have become a commodity that divide us into two groups – ‘Haves’ and ‘Have’nots’. The ‘have nots’ wonder when it is that they’ll get theirs, and the ‘haves’ smile sadly on these beggars on the streets of love. Politically, romance is the one instance where communism is the perfect solution. That way, everyone gets a break.
When you’re watching everyone around you get ahead it’s impossible to believe how you could be left wanting and suddenly you get an image of a little boy in a ragged cap and torn shirt begging ‘please sir, I want some more’ only to have sung back ‘never before has a boy asked for more’ as an old fat man beats you with a stick.
Such is life, especially in Perth’s flourishing gay scene… you’re Oliver Twist wondering why the hell your lot in life is so bad when everyone else has it so good. Looking outside your sad little hovel you see everyone else indulging in an orgy of parties, hot dates and great sex while you’re stuck inside the orphanage and the closest thing you get to human contact is the wooden spoon from the fat man in charge.
Let’s fast-forward a couple of centuries and not much has changed since Dickens in terms of love. Some men may still be Neanderthal, but relationships have taken a Darwinian turn. More than ever gay people are forming happy relationships but many of us are still in the dark on how to manage it. We can’t buy it from a store and we sure as hell can’t find it in pubs where queens reign who are more clueless than Marie Antoinette when she strutted through her Court.
The thing is, as single people we sometimes fall into a trap of living half lives – biding our time until someone suitable comes along because we’re certain we want the same thing everyone else has. Part of it is embedded in our social roots. It’s the capitalist in us all – everyone else has a relationship so we want one too. It’s survival of the fittest – it’s keeping up with the Jones’ – it’s Darwinism at its finest and we blindly play into it because it appeals to our notion of having it all. Like the tailbone at the end of our spine it’s the little piece left of eighties greed sitting at the base of our subconscious, reminding us everyday of how we should have a little bit more. I’m not saying this is the complete reason but you can bet your Australian dollar its part of it.
