TASTY MASHIES!

CANADA WILD (Fri June 5, Seven, 1:40am) -So I get up at almost 2 in the morning to check out what I think is going to be a racy look into the naked bedroom activities of such Canuck hunks as Shawn Ashmore, Hayden Christiansen and Jason Priestley, and instead it’s a friggin’ wildlife documentary? Although the baby moose was very cute…

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BROADWAY: HUGH JACKMAN ( Sun June 21, Foxtel Bio-6:30pm) -He may have claws of adamantium, abs of stone and buns of steel, but Hollywood’s current favourite slab of Aussie beef also has golden tonsils. This doco looks at Jackman’s Broadway show tune career, from the high crops of OKLAHOMA! to the high camp of BOY FROM OZ. If your only exposure to Jackman is his turn as the grumpy weasel in Wolverine, you’re about to get a surprise, as Hugh can pop out the jazz hands just as swiftly as he can the metal claws!

FAMILY GUY (Wed June 24, Seven- 10pm) -The animated series that portrays the Griffins, a cartoon family almost as madly dysfunctional as Family First, continues to break every taboo known to humankind (and several that aren’t). Series creator Seth MacFarlane is not only cute and funny; he’s also a staunch advocate of Gay Rights and Gay Marriage and an opponent of Creationism. I’d marry him, but he’s unfortunately straight (“I’m not Gay- although I enjoy a good ass-f***ing as much as anyone”).

STALE CHIPS!

GREY’S ANATOMY (Thurs June 25, Seven- 8:30pm) -Ever since this E.R clone’s flirtation with off-screen (actor Isaiah Washington called Gay co-star T.R Knight a “f*ggot”, refused to apologize, kept his job for three months of viciously anti-gay interviews and suggested Knight be fired for encouraging the slur by being gay in the first place) and on-screen (Lesbian doctor Callie Torres was de-gayed, killed off and the actress fired) homophobia, this medical drama has been gradually flat-lining. T.R Knight may be leaving the show this year, which would take it off life support for good…

HOT POTATOES!

HARPER’S ISLAND (Sun June 28, Ten- 9:40pm) -Interesting new horror/mystery series about a bunch of friends getting together for a wedding on a remote island and encountering a much larger problem than the Best Man having a bit too much champagne and talking about how often he and the Groom had sex in college. The friends are gathered, the island is all romantic looking, the bride and groom are blushing- and then they’re gushing, as the island is apparently home to a psychotic killer who ascribes to the Jason Voorhees/FRIDAY THE 13th School of Wedding Etiquette, i.e. when you have fifteen guests and only ten portions of wedding cake, slice the guests into as many pieces as possible and nobody will complain.

SPUDS IN SPACE!

SUPERNATURAL (Mon June 29, Ten-8:30pm) -Fifth season of the monster-mashing misadventures of the brothers with names like guns, Sam and Dean Winchester (Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles) continues to bring in new characters and twists in an increasingly bizarre and interwoven plotline that has made the show go, to quote the technical term, “bug-ass loopy”. In addition to the odd demon running around the first few seasons possessing people to do bad things to the Winchester boys, we now have *Angels* showing up to protect them and threatening to turn the series into HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN, albeit with tighter buns and better haircuts. Archangel Castiel (Misha Collins) does help Padalecki and Ackles round out the “supernaturally pretty men” quota on the show though, so I guess that’s okay. Also, Castiel’s ongoing attempts to save Dean’s soul seem to involve him groping Dean’s ass a lot (insert your own TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL gag here).

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