THE DAME EDNA TREATMENT (Sat Sept 11, Nine-7:30pm): If you listen really hard during this show, you can actually hear the folks at Nine scraping the bottom of the barrel. I think I’d rather watch a test pattern….
MIDSOMER MURDERS (Sun Sept 12, Ten-8:30pm): Fairly predictable small-town-concealing-cornucopia-of-cadavers mystery show, co-starring Welsh actor Jason Hughes, who played awesome queer lawyer Warren Jones on the nineties’ cult hit THIS LIFE. Based on the apparent size of Midsomer’s population compared to its staggering rate of suspicious deaths and homicides, Hughes’ cop would probably rather be stationed someplace safer, like Baghdad, Elm Street or Camp Crystal Lake…
GREY’S ANATOMY (Sun Sept 12, Seven- 9pm): Ever since series regular Isiaah Washington infamously called gay co-star T.R.Knight (George) a ‘faggot’; then spent the next six months putting his foot ever deeper into his mouth (he was finally fired last month) my enthusiasm for this show has waned. Now I hear that Washington’s been rewarded for his homophobia with a lead role in the upcoming new version of the Bionic Woman, I just can’t watch GREY’S anymore. Perhaps if they had Patrick Dempsey and Eric Dane give each other ‘physical examinations’, I might re-consider…
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL (Mon Sept 13, Ten-4:30pm): I haven’t watched this for some time, mostly because I was getting my daily dose of vapid, wealthy people back-stabbing each other by watching PARLIAMENTARY QUESTION TIME, but when I tuned in briefly the other day, there were several new characters. You know what this means – Brooke’s finally had every man in the town, so they’ve had to start ‘importing’…
STRIPERELLA (Mon Sept 13, SBS-9pm): Legendary comic book creator Stan Lee (X-MEN, SPIDERMAN) and legendary walking tube of silicon Pamela Anderson-Lee combine their respective talents to create a super-heroine who moonlights as an (ahem) exotic dancer. She dons figure-hugging lycra by day and beats crime; and by night, slowly takes the figure-hugging lycra off and beats…um, nevermind…
TORCHWOOD (Tues Sept 14, Ten-Midnight): Much like its parent show, DOCTOR WHO, TORCHWOOD is nearing its season finale. Unlike WHO, however, this signals an increase in profanity, violence, nudity and same-sex snogging, which explains the later timeslot than previous weeks. The rest of the team find out that Jack (John Barrowman) and Ianto (Gareth David Lloyd) are lovers. Some do not take it well, which leads to a crack in space/time being opened and a potential apocalypse. Isn’t that a bit harsh? Couldn’t they just boil Jack’s pet bunny on the stove?!
