‘This whole Mardi Gras thing is so exciting – you have Kathy Griffin here… Cyndi Lauper… Olivia Newton-John. This is like the fag hag summit. We are discussing all the important issues pertaining to fags and fag hags worldwide. I kept trying all week to invite Kylie to come because that would just make the fag hag circle complete – the fag hag Fantastic Four.’ –Margaret Cho
It happens every year as the anticipated moment approaches. Partygoers try to predict what surprises the night will hold. This year was no exception, and in fact, as Mardi Gras turned a very youthful 30, the celebrity rumours got bigger and bolder. Here’s what was true and what remains a dream for next year…
A Rumour Come True…
Cyndi Lauper – The biggest and perhaps worst-kept surprise on the Mardi Gras stage, Cyndi donned an elaborate period frock as she performed ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ as well as a new song ‘The Same Old Fucking Story’ to those with enough endurance to still be out at 8am.
Olivia Newton-John – She’s been around almost as long as Mardi Gras and at long last she graced its stage and performed a camped-up version of Xanadu. While media were kicked out of the press pit (and into a mob of topless boys) just moments before she was to perform, the rendition was so camptastic that even we had to forgive her. Every diva deserves her demands!
David Campbell – Yes, Barnsey’s son was there, and after a 2am hit performance of I Am What I Am, he is rumoured to have partied until 7am with his fiancé in the VIP area.
Kathy Griffin – The star of Air New Zealand’s Pink Flight from San Francisco to Sydney, Kathy Griffin must have kept a fairly low profile after the in-flight entertainment ended because no one remembered seeing her at the party…
Carson Kressley – The Queer Eye for the Straight Guy fashion guru was in full party mode. ‘It’s fantastic to be here in Australia. I just LOVE it,’ he told OiP’s special Mardi Gras undercover agent. ‘Mardi Gras is fa-a-a-bulous.’
Margaret Cho – Before the Parade, the Chief of Parade had Mardi Gras officials grimacing with laughter as she quipped the drug raids were a ‘hate crime.’ After all with Olivia on at 4am and Cyndi at 8am, she joked ‘I’m going to need a bump of something. I don’t do no drugs, but I need a line of I don’t care what it is.’
Maybe Next Year…
Hugh Jackman – Alas, Wolverine was in town filming, but the WAAPA trained actor did grace the party stage. Which, while disappointing to fans, probably saved the City of Sydney the trouble of sending the riot police to put out a few boy-lovin-boy’s fires.
Closeted Footy Boys – As Perth partygoers flew into Sydney, a few buzzed about who may have been occupying first-class seats on the pink flights east. The most tantalizing rumour held that hordes of closeted AFL players were en route to Oxford Street. Of course, it proved only to be hearsay as any footy boys in attendance were well enough disguised to escape recognition…
Scissor Sisters – New York’s gay underground gave them their start, and plenty of fans hoped that they would make the trek to Sydney to perform a secret party show. Fingers crossed that next year we all have an excuse to ‘Take your Mama out all night…’
Kylie Minogue (+ Dannii) – If nothing else, you have to give the gay community credit for being undying optimists. Decades after this rumour first surfaced, probably sometime around when the ‘Locomotion’ was still fashionable, poofs everywhere continue to believe Kylie will come, come, come into our room. Unfortunately, not this year, as Kylie (and sister Dannii) were nowhere to be found.
Halle Berry – Who knows where this rumour came from, but had it come true, I probably would have come as well… on the spot. It also probably would have made the miniscule women’s section well worth the price of admission.
Ben Cousins – With one of WA’s Mardi Gras floats tackling Ben Cousins with the theme ‘WA On Ice’, some said the ex-Eagles Premiership Captain would join the parade and laugh at his misfortunes. Benny-boy, however, stayed away and parade watchers had to make do with 30 or so Cousins’ impersonators.
John Howard – Okay, so, this wasn’t really a rumour, but we thought we’d extend the invitation. Forget the past decade that the Prime Minister spent ignoring Mardi Gras, that’s water under the bridge. So, Mr. Howard, if the sound of Kylie grabs you, come along next year, take your top off (or, on second thought, keep it on), find the love in the room and dance the night away.
