Valentine’s Day. Every flavour of Awesome.

Valentine’s Day. Every flavour of Awesome.

Here at OUTinPerth we figure you need a bit of a hand with Valentines Day. If you’re a hater and you don’t believe in it good on you.  Celebrate National Condom day, and glory in the cash you haven’t spent on red roses.

Ah Valentine’s Day… while many people will be off on romantic dates, sitting over candle lit dinners and swapping red roses, many of us will be alone, dateless and destined to be sitting at home with a tub of icecream

If you aren’t in a relationship, we like to think you have good sense and therefore will find this handy guide to the correct selection of celebratory feasts/comfort-eating for your personality type super helpful. And fear not, maybe you’ll meet someone in the freezer section of the supermarket…

OUTinPerth’s St Valentine’s Icecream Assortment:

If you have a previous history of complicated relationships  – Rocky Road

If you’ve never had a relationship – Vanilla

If you prefer three-ways – neopolitan

Always horny but getting no action – Cold Rock

If you’re a slut – get yourself to Baskin & Robbins for one of each flavour

If you go on lots and lots of dates, but are single cos you’re fussy – Connoisseur

If you’re a crazy lesbian – Pistachio (it’s a bit nuts)

If you’re always being stood up – add a Flake

If you’re into Geeks – Smarties on top?

If your ex went on a diet and is now fit – Skinny Cow.

If you’re a bear – honey

If you’re a twink – icecream? Not in those shorts.

If you’re a drag queen –  bugger the icecream, two cones and you’re Madonna

If you’re a power bottom – double choc with all of the toppings…

Long term relationship – you ain’t getting any. Soz.

New relationship – keep licking. Ice-cream can wait….

 

 

Tags: icecream, valentine