I am feeling quite depressed. My girlfriend is such a wonderful person, everyone loves her; she is brilliant and funny. She tells me that she loves me but I don’t know why – I am the exact opposite of her. I’m certainly not clever at anything and people don’t think I’m funny. I would love to be more like her – I would love her to be proud of me – I really want to believe it when she tells me she loves me. She’s my world. But …I don’t know what she sees in me.
All of us mere human beings enter our adult lives with some hidden baggage that we have brought with us from our formative years – I have referred to this baggage previously. For some of us, the baggage can be very heavy – possibly the result of some conscious or unconscious hurt we experienced in those years. And again, for many of us that past hurt affects our inner core, the way we perceive ourselves, the way we assume others perceive us.
But we can heal ourselves of the negative thoughts we have of ourselves – we have that power. We can do it simply by changing our self-talk and by doing something different. We have all heard the saying: When I always do what I’ve always done, I’ll always get what I’ve always got. One of the most powerful ways we can heal our hurts is to be compassionate – both to ourselves and to others. The more compassionate we feel, the more power we exert over those core hurts.
Slowly re-write the following statements, then say each one aloud every day – experience the healing they have the power to bring. Gift yourself with this mantra – Power over Core Hurts.
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I’m LOVEABLE because I am compassionate. Doing compassionate things shows my lovableness.
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I’m POWERFUL because I am compassionate. Doing compassionate things makes me feel powerful.
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I’m ACCEPTABLE because I am compassionate. If someone seems to reject me, it is due to what’s in her/his head and heart, not mine.
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I’m VALUABLE because I am compassionate. Doing compassionate things enables me to feel valuable.
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I’m UNOFFENDED BY ACCUSATION because I am compassionate. Doing compassionate things assists me rise above accusation.
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I’m IMPORTANT because I’m compassionate. Doing compassionate things raises my sense of importance.
Perhaps you may like to paste this mantra in a prominent place where you see it each day on awakening. As suggested, gift yourself – love yourself – you are loveable.
Please send questions on relationships to Elizabeth Brennan, Relationships Australia, PO Box 1206, West Leederville, WA 6901, or email elizabeth.brennan@wa.relationships.com.au Elizabeth is only able to answer your enquiries in print in OUTinPerth and cannot give personal replies.
