More Than Survival: Escaping Homophobia in Russia

Victor Swarze by Paddy Then

Since enacting its controversial “gay propaganda” law in 2013, Russia has attracted criticism for its treatment of the LGBTI community. The law makes illegal “promotion of nontraditional sexual relations to minors”, and many fear it has been the catalyst for a sharp increase in anti-LGBT violence over the past two years. In December last year Human Rights Watch published a report entitled ‘License to Harm: Violence and Harassment Against LGBT People and Activists in Russia’, based on interviews with 78 LGBT people who had experienced violence and discrimination in the country. For Perth resident Victor Swarze, these developments are just a recent manifestation of a hostile social climate that was once his norm.

Raised in Moscow, Victor first became aware of his sexuality at age seven, a realisation that came hand in hand with the suspicion that he would not fit in to Russian society. “As I grew older, I began understanding, especially hearing homophobic comments from people and witnessing homophobia in the society and being further and further indoctrinated in Christianity, I was taught that it’s something negative, that it’s sinful, perverted, abominable. So I tried to silence it in me.”

However, Victor was unable to keep his identity hidden for long. In his first year of university, his family discovered he was gay after reading his private phone messages. “My father was furious. He basically beat me up and threatened me, threatened that he would do something to the person that I was interested in. I kinda had to cave in and hide again, until I finally moved out at nineteen.”

Victor also experienced numerous incidents of homophobic violence. The first was in his first year of university, when he was physically and verbally abused by classmates. “I went to the admin to talk about it and was just basically told nothing, and no action was taken, nothing at all.” He said. The incident proved to be indicative of a common attitude towards homophobic violence, as he discovered in 2010.

Victor was walking down the street with a group of friends. Seeing that the street was deserted, himself and his male friend decided to hold hands. Within ten minutes, the group was attacked by three people. “We were attacked from three different directions with the fourth being the road so we couldn’t actually run there. The first attacker knocked down one of the girls, he basically ran towards her and kicked her in the upper body… She fell down immediately. The second one rushed to me and hit me in the face, knocking my glasses off.”

Fortunately, Victor was carrying pepper spray and was able to subdue the attackers. The group contacted the police at a nearby railway station. “The police came in about half an hour, forty minutes and when they saw us they cackled at us. I asked the police officers if they could walk with me to where we were assaulted because my glasses were there, and I can’t see without them.” After one of his friends helped Victor to retrieve his glasses, they were made to pay the officers for making a “false call”.

According to the aforementioned report by Human Rights Watch, such incidents are a prominent threat to LGBT Russians. The organization interviewed 26 members of the community who had been victim to homophobic or transphobic violence. Of the interviewees, few reportedly told police as they did not believe their attackers would be identified and held accountable.

Frequently feeling that he was not safe or accepted due to his sexuality, Victor also experienced anxiety and depression. “My family was not accepting, my family was not supportive of me leaving Christianity. My family was not supportive of me seeking my own identity.

“I had lots of conflicts when I was younger, with my family. And that was the beginning and as I moved further and further with bullying at school, bullying at university, it intensified the depression… I saw no hope in life. I basically existed for years fuelled only by anger and hatred for the society, for the culture that I was in. These were the only things that kept me going and kept me alive. There was no positivity. It took years to get away from that sort of mentality, from that way of thinking.”

In 2011, Victor moved to Perth, where he has been living for the last three years. After adapting to social life in Australia, Victor said the move allowed him to recover from the anxiety he experienced in his formative years. “I changed dramatically. I can go out without being afraid. I can go on the streets without fearing. Back in Russia for many years I was actually truly scared to go outside. It crippled my social life… This fear, it didn’t leave completely, I think that it will stay with me for very long, it’s a visceral thing. But now it stays more as a memory, as a reminder, as a phantom.”

The opportunity to be open about his identity is invaluable to Victor. “I can talk to people, I can tell people that I am gay. I don’t always expect that people will accept it and be nice about it. However, I also expect that people will not be violent to me and they have never been here. I have never faced true violence in Australia. Which, in itself, is an amazing treasure.”

Victor’s experience with mental health issues inspired him to take up psychology. “I just thought that with all my experience, knowing what depression is, knowing what anxiety is firsthand I could just bring some help to people suffering it. Because it’s one thing when you learn these things from books, you have a theoretical understanding. But when you have actually experienced all of it, it’s much easier to empathize and to find the fitting words that would actually help.”

He is happily in a relationship, and was hoping to apply for a relationship visa at the end of his studies. However, after both his university fees and the cost of the visa were raised significantly, he is now hoping to gain a protection visa. “My entire life, my entire future is on the line here. Depending on how it goes I will either have my future, have my prospects to live a happy, decent life with my partner or I will be rejected, and I will have to go back.”

Since the “gay propaganda” law passed in 2013, being openly gay is not only a risk for suffering discrimination and violence, but potentially also incarceration. Victor may be unable to inform his 13 year old sister that he is gay. “Technically, I mean that’s your direct propaganda, I am telling an underage person that I am gay and trying to force someone underage to respect me and view me as a positive individual. That’s what the society considers to be propaganda.”

Victor visibly lit up when he talked about his younger sister. “You wouldn’t think that a thirteen year old person can give much moral and psychological support to a grown up adult, I mean we live in different worlds. Moreover there are so many things that I’m not allowed to tell her. But still she actually manages to bridge these gaps between us and to still support me and to give me the family warmth that I lacked for so many years when I was young. What I didn’t have, she gives me now. So that is a tremendous achievement on her part. I greatly respect her for her ability. She’s a really good little girl, trust me.”

“I have this fear that she will be indoctrinated in the homophobic culture. That she will be brought up to be like the others but at the same time, I have a very good connections with her and I am very close with her and I know that she is a good person.” He explained. “I have faith in her. And while I can’t tell her I am gay, what I can do, and what I do is I can ridicule the Russian aggression, I can ridicule Russian homophobia. Laughter is a very strong weapon and that’s the weapon I use to make sure that she doesn’t accommodate to these negative views and these negative values.”

Since moving to Perth, Victor has been able to live as an openly gay man without fear of violence. It’s a state of being many of us are lucky to take for granted. In Russia, many LGBT people remain closeted for survival. For Victor, a return to his home country would not only mean a restriction of his personal freedoms but a return to an atmosphere of anxiety and paranoia.

Victor fears that the homophobic climate in Russia has worsened since he moved. Many believe that the “gay propaganda” law has given the population legal justification for violence and discrimination for both authorities and vigilante groups. Since the law passed, police raids on gay venues have increased. “Thanks to the new law against gay propaganda, the police have an excuse of raiding a gay venue under the law, they can say that there may be underage individuals in the club. And they will raid and you can see that the social life of the community is constantly under threat.”

“If I am forced to go back there I just don’t know how long I will last. What I do know is that after a short while I will not be able to function like a normal human being. I will not be able to casually come out of the house. I will not be able to have a decent work. I will not be able to maintain the same quality of life. It will not be wise for me to be openly gay. But I don’t think that I could go back in the closet the way I used to. It’s just been too long. I’ve been out for too long. I can’t cram myself and my personality back in the closet. It simply won’t fit.”

Sophie Joske

Image: Paddy Then

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