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Beowulf

Beowulf is based on an Old English epic poem about the great warrior Beowulf (Ray Winstone) from the land of the Geats who traveled south to the land of the Danes to slay a dreadful monster named Grendel that was killing the populace. Unfortunately, that was not the end of the tale because Grendal’s mother (a slightly more attractive monster played by Angelina Jolie) also had to be dealt with. This 3-D rendition of the oldest surviving piece of English literature utilises today’s most advanced technology to tell the story.

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Courtesy of the special glasses and the director of The Polar Express, the audience is actually in the mist as horses take them across the ancient land into the cave where monsters dwell. The battle scenes come to life with arrows heading straight out of the screen, and there is 3-D gore by the bucketful. Interestingly, though there is plenty of violence, no genitals are shown, which makes for some unintentionally hilarious scenes when Beowulf decides he wants to wrestle the monster in the nude and props and people are placed strategically to hide any dangly bits. Mind you, Angelina’s beguiling monster has only sparse amounts of liquid gold dripping off her curves as she emerges from her watery home.

Quite a lot of changes have been made to the story from the original, but who’s going to be reading that any time soon? The most glaring is the addition of the obviously modern sexual innuendo when the lads get together and down large quantities of mead. Also, Beowulf doesn’t return to his land to live happily ever after but stays in Denmark and has to confront the sins of his past. Overall, this is a film worth watching primarily for the escapist experience.

Directed by Robert Zemeckis. Rated M.

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