Coming Out – Jake

I came out when I was fifteen, I always knew.

I was drunk, I was at a friend’s house, my partner at the time, it was like a sleep over. Dad rang me and I just told him straight out. I woke up in the morning and there was like 26 missed calls and I thought… what have I done? I didn’t speak to my Dad for two weeks because I was too afraid to face him. At first I told my aunty and my cousin first, at first I was bisexual – then I just came to terms that I’m gay.

I went to my Dad’s house for dinner, everyone was sitting around the table and it was very awkward, and my step-Mum just came out and said, ‘So you like boys hey?’ It just went from there. My Dad just said he’d always love me no matter what because I’m his son, Dad and I have become closer since. Dad always asks me why I came out…and I say the only reason is because I was sick of hiding. I’m gay and I’m proud of it.

I haven’t spoken to my Mum in three years. She disowned me when she found out. My grandmother wrote me a letter saying that I’ve got the devil in me and told me that I’m going to hell. That side of the family has totally cut me off.

The one thing I learned in coming out is that the people who I thought would accept it, didn’t, and the people I thought might not accept it – have accepted it… It still upsets me that my mother’s family has a problem; I thought out of everyone my Mum would accept it.   I wish that was different, it hurts but there is nothing you can do but love and respect their wishes.

I just think that if you’re gay, you’re gay. You can’t choose to be gay; you’re gay for a reason. Coming out, you can be who you are; you don’t have to hide all the time.

 

See also – Coming Out Alexander, David, and Teresa

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