In my meandering about the place, I have only met one lesbian who really hated motorcycles. The vast majority, when presented with a two-wheeled machine will drool, or at least have a little twinkle in their eye. Maybe I overanalyse things, but why does the lesbian community hold motorcycles in such great esteem?

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It’s hard to imagine a mode of transport less phallic – it is after all piece of machinery throbbing between your legs. A giant vibrator on wheels, perhaps? An image that is objectionable to a few radical lesbian feminist types, but part of the appeal for others.

It is also a symbol of masculine bravado – you can ride a motorbike despite all the horrid crash statistics (the majority from motorists not paying attention), then you must be a tough nut. A favourable power to weight ratio allows you to accelerate more quickly than cars, and if you can lane split and keep your nerve, you are a bigger “man” than I, my friend!

Even before ‘Rebel Without a Cause’, motorbikes represented rebellion – and maybe there’s an affinity for them in the lesbian community because it adds strength to the image of “lesbian as rebel”, as opposed to “lesbian as oppressed minority”. There’s a sense of empowerment that motorcycles give – because it’s saying to guys, “everything you can do, we can do too!”

Their value is couched in what they represent, and maybe they give an edge when vying for the attention of that really hot girl at the pub. They are also a good deal cheaper than cars so you can get a really sexy bike for a lot less than a really sexy car. Giving someone a ‘ride’ is a very good excuse for her to hold you really, really tight! The only problem with that is when someone really unappealing asks for a ride and has to be turned down – it’s then an implicit admission that you only give rides to girls you like and the jig is up!

Riding motorbikes, and hanging with people who do, also generates a large amount of ‘pub ammo’ – silly, embarrassing or amusing stories about butt naked bikers riding through the suburbs, near misses with wildlife or ill timed wheelies or endos.

The problem is that for a lot of people, there’s a significant downside to riding motorcycles as every day transport. Wet weather is a real bummer – not only is it cold and wet if you don’t have the right gear, it’s pretty damn inconvenient to change in and out of those waterproof pants all the time. The risk factors also go up with visibility problems and questionable traction on the road for both two wheeled vehicles and four.

Motorbikes are also fairly fragile pieces of equipment because their engines are so much smaller than cars – they are easily flooded, fuel is easily contaminated, petrol easily runs out, all things leave your bike stranded. Believe me, you don’t want to be the person swearing at your bike at 7am because some stupid kids have come past and stuffed around with it under the cover of night.

There are also more disadvantages if you are anything like me. If you drop it on the road can you pick it up again? This is an occurrence that flies in the face of all being a biking lesbian represents – macho, independent and defiant. But it happens. A friend of mine in Melbourne rented an R1, and with a curb weight around 200 kilograms (and her curb weight around 55kgs), she got off balance on an uneven road and dropped it. Stranded and struggling to pick the thing up, she was fortunate that some mates happened to be driving by and stopped to help her out. She’d also snapped off the clutch lever, so they had to get it into neutral and walk it back to the house. I think she went back to riding 250cc bikes after that.

For me though, my aspirations to acquire a motorcycle to complement my tattooed, short haired, strutting, independent and attention seeking public persona ended fairly abruptly on a fine sunny afternoon. I was on my bicycle, negotiating a roundabout, when some woman didn’t give way to the right. I’ve still got some gravel rash scars on my hands and got grazed through the pants I was wearing. I was only doing 30kmh, and the thought of something similar happening at 60 or 80kmh just freaked me out.

I’ll still drool at motorbikes, but I won’t be getting one myself any time soon.

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Jet can be heard on Groove 101.7fm Wednesdays for breakfast, 6am – 9am and Sundays for all things sporting, 12-3pm.