How do you grow love and wisdom through the HIV experience? Many experiences in life are challenging, and some of them are health related like HIV. However the freedom and capacity to choose how we respond is still ours. Some of us take on a very tragic tale indeed when we are diagnosed with HIV. A media script goes something like , get tested, get diagnosed, get rejected by yourself first, then your lover, friends, work, and community; get miserable, get depressed, get ill and die alone. Time to tear up that old script up, and get a life! Seriously consider some other real experiences and possibilities that challenge this negative media stereotype.
I started with considering the best response I ever got from communicating my HIV status to a lover ….drum roll please…… ‘I love you even more!’ How sweet it was to hear this reaction. When I asked him why, he responded, ‘I went to have sex with you the other night and you used a condom even though I didn’t want to. You protected me when you didn’t have too’. After hearing his response, my confidence and openness to communicating my HIV status increased.
It got me of what some other examples are where love wins, over HIV. From people that have lived with HIV long term and before successful HIV medications arrived, I have heard truly uplifting stories. For instance, of how even though they themselves lived with HIV, individuals loved and nursed their lover and friends through transition from life to death, holding them when warm and holding them… now cold. These are my heroes, individuals who loved quietly, consistently, with conviction, and tenderness. I am so very proud of our loving history.
I recall the many individuals, who through the experience of HIV, embarked on a journey of self discovery, self acceptance and love.
The families who rallied behind their loved ones even though some religions cast people with HIV off as wicked, deserving punishment. What about the communities, health professionals and activists who found it in their hearts to fight for the right of people with HIV to have access to health and life saving medication and in so doing also fought for the right to access health for everyone everywhere? The love that our communities have for one another has been demonstrably strong. These are some of our stories embracing, love, freedom and triumph. LOVE WINS!
Living well with HIV
Cipri Martinez WA AIDS Council
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