THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE (Wed Dec 26, Nine-7:30pm)
Barrel-bottom-scraping reality show about a hunky hayseed who mysteriously has no-one to sow his crop of wild oats with and the female contestants who are determined to get into a top paddock with the stud ram. Kind of like a crap version of cult hit PLAYING IT STRAIGHT only gender reversed and with less hot gay men. They could have at least thrown a few male potential spouses into the mix to broaden the farmer’s fields, as it were. I’m running out of terrible, farm-based puns now, so it’s time to move to the next item!
NEW INVENTORS (Wed Dec 26, ABC-8pm)
I’ve nothing against this show, which chronicles Australian inventors and their clever and useful inventions – it’s just that, with the show featuring three clever tool-shed technocrats each week, you’d think one of them could invent a device that gives show host James O’Loughlin a functional personality.
KATH & KIM (Sun Dec 9, Seven-7:30pm)
I’ve always had mixed feelings about this cult Aussie comedy – mixed feelings in that I can’t decide whether it should be shot into deep space or sealed in a lead box and then buried forever in the Earth’s core. Channel 7 does the impossible and makes the show even more irritating and cringe inducing by adding advertisements every twenty seconds.
