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SceneOUT July

Hello m’dears, mOther here!

First off, congratulations to Miss Vene-Mous of the stunned mullet haircut and foghorn voice who won – yes, won – Death By Drag at Connections Night club. By all reports her make-up did improve drastically by the end of the comp’ (a little shading never hurts does it darl’) and now one hopes she goes out and gets new hair with the cash prize she took home. Yes, the stunned mullet dates so quickly. The mullet, it ain’t even a Gucci…!

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For all of those far too lazy to get off their fat arses and punch a few keys on a computer to find out who’s playing at The Court Hotel on any given weekend… don’t worry, mOther got off hers and did the hard yards for you! Well, that’s a lie really. My arse isn’t fat. Well, it’s phat, but not fat. There’s a distinct semantic difference. It lies in the ‘ph’. Anyway… on a Friday night Dirty Den, Sir Clancealot and newbie Adrian slam it hard outside while Feminem keeps it fresh in the main room. Come Saturday and Pink Corduroy have the hot tunes strumming outside, followed by Sir Clancealot and Miss Fresh the Fem herself. Inside? DJ’s DannyBoi and Nick Alexander. Then, when Sunday (finally) roles around, expect Valentine Moon and Nick Alexander to be there, serving up a treat of sweet disco tunes.

And speaking of Sunday, ZOO is still the poo so get a whiff of where it’s at as DJ Space Ace and crew serve up a night dedicated to freaks. ZOO is located at 234 William Street, although entry is through the rear. Oh, how the freak shall inherit the Perth.

After slamming the Queen of Pop in her now infamous vlog (vlog, noun, a video blog) online at myspace.com/femfresh, in which she pitted the latest long player from Mariah ‘Pariah’ Carey against Lady ‘I’m so old, so old…so oooold’ Madonna, Feminem has gone and paid homage to Madonna’s worst album to date in a show that’s sure to be magnificent. Yes, expect a little spot of Hard Candy to crack your teeth with excitement as Fem and friends hit the stage at The Court Hotel on Saturday, July 5. Sticky and sweet… just how you like it!

Pride Women’s Sundowner on Wednesday, July 9 at Grapeskin. A very cool get together for women by women which also helps raise money for Pride WA. Enough said.

Pride 2008 party rumour #1: which lovely local electro starlets are being madly sought after and for which party? Take a little pride in getting brash and sassy, the party rumour mill has officially started! But wait, is this for October?

Connections Nightclub and RTR FM combine forces to launch Open Closet on Friday, July 11 from 10pm. Open Closet is a new queer program which airs every Tuesday morning from 12am to 2am on RTR FM, straight after Pocket Disco. And like a disco in your pocket, the opening party for Open Closet is sure to rock your socks off! And how… the line up is amazing! On the night you will hear the likes of Open Closet presenter Unkle Bobby, Danae Gibson, the awesome Rok Riley, Milly, Hustler, the amazing Petrosex, Rex Monsoon, Lorraine Clifford, Peter Barr, Shannon Fox… pant pant pant… Robert Fletcher, Cinder, Tim Brown PLUS a live set from the mega-lithic Natalie Ripepi!

Don’t Bears hibernate or something? Apparently not. Yes, it’s feeding time again over at Connections Nightclub on Saturday, July 12 in The Lounge as Perth Bears pull on their winter coats.

Mark Wednesday, July 16 into your calendars – yes, Sunset Coasters hit The Court Hotel at 6pm. Wanna a little sugar, daddy? Mmmmm.

Hot off the press is news that Val will be having a little break from drag… for six months! That’s a whole lotta woman taking a whole lotta time off! But apparently, when she’s back, she’ll only be half the woman but with twice the roar. Chuggers darl’ – we’ll see you soon.

Jess McAvoy returns for a musical onslaught at The Hyde Park Hotel to promote her new album – yes, new album – As The Sun Falls on Saturday, July 19. Don’t miss this one ladies!

Friday, July 25 sees Connections Nightclub turn into a Sideshow. Yes, get your carnival on as a whole assortment of funfair antics spill out across this room of disco de frights. Expect a hall of mirrors, rollercoasters (that’s coasters that roll), popcorn machines, fortune tellers, palm readers, bearded ladies, fire breathers and more freaks than you could poke a stick at… and freaks love being poked with sticks. Free candy for all insures a sugar rush of mega proportions. Come on… get your freak on.

Big news this month is that The Giselle – former Krazy Krushgroove Kid and her off Giselle & The Glamour Addicts fame and pop sensation Giselle & The Tokyo Red Eyes – is apparently in line to host Lesbian Mud Wrestling. Yes, our very own Asian Sensation is hitting the big time and being given her own night. Now, this you’ve gotta see!

As if Madonna could reinvent herself any more, the old broad takes it one step further by turning 50. Bet you never saw that one coming! So stay tuned…Madonna’s 50th birthday celebrations are coming to a gay as venue near you on Saturday August 16! Go disco granny…go! Just mind the hip. Mind you, Madonna hasn’t been hip since Confessions….

Now remember…do what your mOther told ya!

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