- Sort your socks into matching pairs.
- Memorize all of the lyrics to the musical Cats.
- Make your own all natural shampoo. Use it to wash away your tears.
- Create an electro outfit comprised of yourself making guttural sounds and your household pets walking all over a keyboard. Become the next big thing on Triple J Unearthed.
- Fashion yourself a lover out of Papier Mache.
- Make a monstrous many-headed effigy of those who have romantically done you wrong, set it on fire and dance around it naked.
- Get a white board marker, sit in front of a mirror and draw facial hair, a hat or whatever other exciting facial accessories you can come up with and pretend your reflection is a winsome stranger.
- Get a non-toxic felt marker and connect the dots with all the moles on your body. See what constellations you can make with your hideous deformities.
- Sellotape your ankles together and imagine life as a mermaid.
- Cover your entire body in PVA glue and spend the evening peeling it off.
- Choreograph an interpretive dance based on the changing of the seasons. Be sure to include costume changes and see how frequently you can incorporate “the Sprinkler”.
- Bake yourself a cake. Inscribe upon it your hopes and dreams in icing. As you eat it imagine yourself absorbing its positivity.
- Shave your head and use the clippings and some Clag Paste to give yourself majestic chest hair.
- Start an arts and crafts society with your single friends.
Sophie Joske
