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VANISHED (Mon March 26, Seven-10:30pm)

-This thinly veiled 24/LOST about a Senator who’s wife goes missing, presumed kidnapped, and said Senator (John Allen Nelson, from the cult classic horror spoof KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE) resorting to increasingly desperate means to get her back. As the truth of her ‘abduction’ got progressively weirder and kinkier with each passing plot twist I was expecting a backwards-speaking little person or mysterious unseen jungle beast any moment. And fortunately, it follows the timely Hollywood tradition of hunky law enforcers – Eddie Cibrian, who formerly wielded a wicked truncheon in the cop series THIRD WATCH, takes his shirt off every five minutes again as FBI Agent Lucas. Keeping his clothes *on* for once is Gale Harold (QUEER AS FOLK USA’s Brian) who became the real ‘vanished’ person when he was fired without notice from this show after only four episodes. The reason for his abrupt sacking has disappeared along with the Senator’s wife, but I’m guessing some lingering QAF homophobia somewhere…

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JUSTICE (Tues March 27, Nine- 9:35am)

-Your standard legal firm drama with all the (legally copyrighted) stereotypes on call- the crusty old legal eagle with tricks that’d get him disbarred faster than a circus animal in any real world courtroom; an array of young women who seem to be on hand to provide low-cut dress footage rather than legal advice, and the hot-shot maverick lawyer who seems like trouble but has a good heart. Not to mention a nice butt, too, as he’s played in JUSTICE by hottie Kerr Smith, who played the awesome gay character Jack McPhee on DAWSON’S CREEK and a string of other gay roles after that as well. His character here is straight. Maybe. I’d still examine his legal briefs any day…

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