No Selfie Control

Graeme WatsonIt seems the latest internet trend is taking a photo of yourself just after you’ve had sex and posting to social media with the tag #aftersexselfie.

At first I feel compelled to ask, “When did we start sharing to this level?” But as I stop and think for a moment, it dawns on me that we queers have been over sharing way beyond this for some time.

I’m often perplexed that when you chat to people on phone apps, without warning they suddenly send you a naked picture of themselves. What happened to the pleasantries of introducing yourself first, saying hello – maybe asking if a picture of your intimate areas would be appropriate?

The other day a friend showed me an image someone had just sent him on Grindr, it was not a naked picture, it was a picture of a person actually having sex. I’m not sure how this works, do we actually need proof of your abilities. How long before people start having their own XXX websites with references?

I can understand that historically gay men often had to meet in clandestine operations to have sex. I’m old enough to have experienced the fear of being discovered, but is social media and changing attitudes giving us new freedoms, or did we just forget our manners?

On one hand you could see a young man who is confident in his sexuality, a guy who is happy with his body image and living life to the full. Flip the coin and maybe we’re just celebrity obsessed, exposed to too much pornography, and lacking selfie control. Our egos explode at any minute.

Maybe we need some measures to keep ourselves in check. If you’re posting more photographs of yourself that anything else, maybe it’s time to recalibrate. If you’re not aiming for a career in the adult movie industry, but have enough material for a show reel, it might be time to reconsider. If you’ve got great skills in accessing lighting, choosing the right angle and shooting your best side – but struggle to hold a conversation – maybe it’s time to focus on a different skill.

Graeme Watson

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