When I speak to men having sexual health tests, the beginning of the conversation very often focuses on slip ups and risks. The men I see tell me about the times when they did not maintain their risk reduction strategies, and their feelings associated with this. Often the guys feel bad about themselves, and even guilty because they have the information about safe sex, but still put themselves at risk.
I see it as an important part of my job to listen to people, to work on how they can learn from the past, and feel comfortable in the present and future. I also see the importance of asking the guys who come for a test about the times that they used all of their knowledge and expertise to protect themselves against HIV and STIs. Usually this question reveals a large amount of skills, and successes which highlight the person’s strengths. By looking at each individual’s strengths and abilities we can work on increasing those, rather than becoming embroiled in problems.
Same sex attracted men have had a lot of education, and targeted interventions about safe sex over the past two decades. As a result most homosexually active men have a significantly better than average understanding of sexually transmitted infections and risk. Furthermore, gay men usually have strategies in place to reduce their risk of contracting and passing on HIV and other STIs, such as; using condoms, reducing number of sexual partners, knowing their partner’s status and sexual health, low risk sexual practices etc…
What I see in the gay community, is men with an incredible amount of knowledge about HIV/STIs and risk. I think if each person assesses their own personal risk reduction strategies to make sure they suit them, and pays attention to what they do right, then their skills, knowledge and successes can grow. Noticing who we are, how we behave, the situations we are in, and the choices we make when we achieve what we want, is just as important as noticing and learning from the times that we slip up and disappoint ourselves.
By Ben Bradstreet
***
