Beach or Blizzard: Which Christmas is Yours?
Christmas holidaymakers come in two varieties: those who revel in the Australian summer and those who enjoy European-style celebrations rugged up and cosy while schussing down the slopes or sipping hot liquids in front of the fireplace. Whatever your orientation, there are ample options to make you happy.
What more obvious place to spend Christmas than an eponymous island. When I told people I was going to Christmas Island, every single one of them said, ‘Why? To visit the detention centre?’ which I found both predictable and unfair. Cuba has enjoyed a robust tourism industry for years despite the presence of the notorious Guantánamo Bay prison camp on its shores. If only Christmas Island’s tourism industry were so fortunate; it certainly deserves to be. Set on a plateau rising above the sea, Christmas Island looks small on a map, yet it does not seem all that small when driving around. Isolated as it is, the island’s unusual plant and animal species live in a near-pristine environment relatively untainted by human intrusion. Almost two-thirds of the 135-square-kilometre island is national park, giving the impression that residents live in a magic land of greenery only a few hours’ flight time from both Perth and Singapore (its former ruler and an island that couldn’t offer a starker contrast). No skyscrapers here, unless you count the rocky cliffs. No crowds, unless talking about crabs. No Orchard Road, just flowers. No congestion tax—this is a duty- and GST-free island. On Christmas, it’s yes nature, yes duty-free zone, yes people who wave hello whenever they pass each other. Being a rather rustic place, Christmas Island attracts a rustic kind of man and woman. Does that mean anything to you?
Even more pristine are the remarkable Cocos (Keeling) Islands, with a population of 650-700 depending on who’s in town. This group of 27 islets rims the edge of a volcanic crater rising 5,000 metres from the seabed and is Australia’s secret hideaway for those in the know. Lying halfway between Perth and Sri Lanka, the Cocos take the phrase “getting away from it all” literally. There is internet service—thankfully unreliable—but no mobile telephone service. Free from the tyranny of modern communications, people are free to be themselves, nurture their souls, and generally interact with people in person rather than via machines. Lucky visitors will find locals living a life of quietude and camaraderie in pristine splendour. One profession that does not do well here is locksmith; the total absence of crime precludes any need to lock doors—hard as that is for us urban dwellers to imagine. The automatic worry over the security of our possessions, and even our bodies, taken as normal on the streets of the city is far out of its element here and immediately exposed as the swindler of our wellbeing that it is. Instead, our souls are replenished with gorgeous natural beauty and a variety of water sports, depending on the season and the company. Gay life? Bring it with you. There are no gay pubs here, but no one defines themselves by their sexuality in this remotest of destinations. Maybe that’s what you need a break from.
Is Christmas to you meant to be all pine trees and white stuff? For less than the cost of a stockingful of cocaine, you can fly to Europe and enjoy an even purer snow sitting on the faces of the most breathtaking mountain landscapes in the world. The part of Switzerland’s Lake Geneva running from Lausanne to Montreux is known as the Swiss Riviera; in addition to the famous jazz festival held each July, Montreux is home to the Montreux Noël and Château de Chillon Medieval Christmas Market, two of the many traditional Christmas markets taking place across Switzerland during the month of December. The delightful market in Zurich, where the city’s famous Bahnhofstrasse is decked out in thousands of strands of light, is one of the biggest, but Montreux’s has the trump card of being located right on the lakefront, giving a superb backdrop for sipping mulled wine while admiring the Freddie Mercury. Oh, Freddie, you were right to love Montreux and Switzerland, which has one of the densest gay infrastructures in the world. There are clubs and pubs across the country—and let’s not forget the saunas; the palatial Pink Beach in Lausanne is the biggest in the country.
Want something in between hot and cold? Like Switzerland, Ireland welcomes LGBT visitors with arms as wide open as the…smiles. Hop on an Aer Lingus flight from Geneva and fall into the action in Dublin’s Temple Bar. Dublin is a hotbed of activity during the winter months, which, compared to the rest of Europe, do not bring nearly the same cold weather; there are palm trees in Ireland, you know, and they can only take so much before giving the safe signal. Theatre, concerts, and nightlife abound in Dublin, and the handsome lads and lassies are only too happy to welcome visitors to the Emerald Isle.
MORE INFORMATION
www.christmas.net.au
www.cocos-tourism.cc
www.myswitzerland.com/en/interests/gay_lesbian.html
www.discoverireland.com type ‘lesbian’ or ‘gay’ in Search
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