As is the case with many holidays, Valentine’s Day has its own set of social rules and etiquette. Like vomiting in your mother-in-law’s laundry basket on Christmas day, or organising a surprise birthday party for your partner – on the date of your ex’s birthday, there are some simple do’s and don’ts we all should follow on this oh-so-romantic of occasions.
DO try and treat yourself to something special if you aren’t loved-up and in a relationship. Buy a family size block of your favourite chocolate, or those jeans you’ve been eyeing off for ages that make your arse look great. Have dinner with other single friends and bitch about all your exes, reminding yourself how happy and free you are when you’re not ‘tied down’.
DON’T start feeling sorry for yourself, go out to pub, down 15 beers in an hour, take home the first person who looks sideways at you and wake up the next morning, chained to a bedpost, unable to find your pants.
DO hire out romantic, feel-good movies like The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love, Better Than Chocolate, Shelter or A Beautiful Thing, then make a big bowl of popcorn and cuddle up under a blanket for a cozy night in with your darling.
DON’T watch High Art (too depressing), Hustler White (too bad) or Claire Of The Moon (too clichéd) in fact, don’t bother watching Claire Of The Moon, ever.
DO spend countless hours printing off cutesy photos of you and your partner, finding the ticket stub from the movie you saw on your first date (and other poignant souvenirs) then pasting them into a collage complete with hearts and glitter. Write a touching poem in a hand-made card and leave them on the kitchen table with your beloved’s favourite breakfast already made.
DON’T scribble ‘Happy V.Day chunky bum, x’ on the back of a shopping docket as you’re walking out the door for work.
DO buy a ring, get down on one knee and make a heartfelt and romantic speech asking your partner to be yours for the rest of their lives.
DON’T try this if you have been seeing your partner for less than a week (lesbians, I’m looking at you!!)
DO make reservations at a swanky restaurant. Sit at an intimate table for two with a lovely view, soft lighting and romantic music playing in the background. Wear your best outfit, order champagne and oysters and pay the bill discreetly, with oh so much class and refinement.
DON’T drive through McDonalds and say ‘This time, it’s on me! Order whatever you want sweetie, you can even up-size if you like!’ then discover at the second window that you left your wallet at home.
Amy Henderson
Love OUTinPerth Campaign
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