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A Non-Wedding To Remember

Wearing white, two Tasmanian brides took the historic steps to become one of the first same-sex couples to have a legally recognised relationship ceremony.

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On March 13, 35 guests made up of family and friends gathered at Isha Cavan and Sonja Plitt’s 1.5 acre property looking over the ocean, near the fishing village of Orford.

‘We walked down the front steps of our home to where a table and chairs had been set up, surrounded by our circle of friends among the trees,’ Isha said.

‘It was just beautiful.’

Isha, 55, and her partner of three years Sonja, 30, said their personal vows before the small congregation and celebrant Terese Tanner.

They and the celebrant then signed a Deed of Relationship, which legally recognised the loving bond between the couple.

Their story made local headlines.

‘It was a bit of a surprise, a nice surprise,’ Isha said.

‘Sonja and I are great believers in being the change you want to see. Gay/lesbian families are the same as any other family and it was a chance to celebrate that and be part of the community.’

Isha and Sonja relish living in Tasmania, which recently allowed ceremonies to be included in the signing of a Deed of Relationship.

They met in Melbourne, after Isha moved east from Western Australia to help her daughter with life as a single mum.

Now Isha has a family with Sonja and her 10-year-old son.

‘The people here have very big hearts,’ Isha said.

‘Being so isolated change comes at their pace, and so it should, but once they get their head and heart around it they embrace it completely.’

Despite being a small island off Australia’s mainland, Tasmania is one of the few progressive states which introduced a Deed of Relationship for same-sex couples.

‘We’re ahead internationally,’ Isha said.

‘In Europe a same-sex union is just for same-sex couples. Whereas straight couples can go on a Deed of Relationship if they don’t want to go down the traditional marriage path.’

She said the reason they chose to conduct a civil ceremony was because they wanted something more progressive that had no connection to the church.

She also called it ‘an equaliser’ for homosexual and heterosexual couples.

She did, however, understand the need for same-sex couples to have the same right to get married.

‘Some people need that blessing from their religious belief,’ Isha said.

‘We have a spiritual belief and while we respect beliefs that are coming to terms with homosexuality, for us that isn’t a consideration.

‘Being a state ceremony, by law, means we have the same rights now. That’s enough for us.’
They still call each other ‘wife’.

‘We play with it because it is a lovely term. It is still new to us and we flip-flop all over the place, which I put down to my age really,’ Isha said with a laugh.

‘I’m in favour of reclaiming language, there’s no connotation of sadness or barriers to those terms.

‘We’re lucky to live in Australia, where there is the right to say those things… We are just making the most of those freedoms.’

Aja Styles

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